Lord Flashheart

Lord Flashheart is the name of two characters (the first presumably the ancestor of the second) who appeared in two episodes of the popular BBC sitcom Blackadder. They were both played by Rik Mayall.

The first Lord Flashheart appeared in the first episode of the second series, 'Bells'. Although the character only appeared in the final scene of the episode, so popular was the part and so memorable was Rik's performance, that the character was recreated in the fourth series in an episode called 'Private Plane', and this time appeared in the whole episode.

Character

The two Flashhearts are stereotypes of a certain kind of hero (the Elizabethan swashbuckler and the World War I Royal Flying Corps hotshot, respectively), slanted to emphasise the negative qualities associated with such characters (e.g. excessive pride and arrogance). This contrasts with the main character, who does not claim heroism and is (to the audience) more likeable as a result.

'Flash by name, Flash by nature', Lord Flashheart is a boisterous, arrogant tower of attraction to women. When he enters a room, all eyes turn to him, and he claims to be able to "give multiple orgasms to furniture just by sitting on it". His catchphrase is to shout 'WOOF!' very loudly, whilst thrusting his crotch forwards in a suggestive fashion. He is also armed with an arsenal of innuendoes. His name, and in part his character also, probably derive from the character Harry Paget Flashman in Tom Brown's Schooldays and the series of books that were inspired by the character.

Plots

In series two, Lord Blackadder claims Flash to be his oldest and most trusted friend, and chooses him to be his best man (although, Lord Flashheart ends up stealing the bride, and describes "Eddie" as a jerk). However, in series four, Captain Blackadder appears to be the only man in England who dislikes Flash. His full rank and title in the fourth series is Squadron Commander The Lord Flashheart. This encounter ends in opposite manner to the episode in Blackadder II - instead of starting out as friends and ending up as (presumably - one did steal the other's bride) enemies; they start out as foes and end up as comrades, united in their desire for revenge on Captain Darling who had refused to send official help to Blackadder and Baldrick when they were captured by the Germans, leaving Flashheart to answer Lieutenant George's plea for an unofficial rescue mission. Blackadder even referred to Flashheart as "a friend of mine" at the end, though did quietly call him a "git" as he exited the room. Flashheart, meanwhile, had got into the habit of calling him "Slackie", an affectionate abbreviation of a previously derogatory nickname of "Slackbladder".

The rescue was required after Blackadder and Baldrick crashed their planes behind enemy lines and into the captivity of the German flying ace Baron von Richtofen played by Adrian Edmondson. Pairing the well-known duo of Mayall and Edmondson together in a one-off project proved an intriguing masterstroke, especially as unlike in all their previous projects (The Young Ones, Bottom, Filthy, Rich and Catflap) it wasn't Edmondson's character who bullied the Mayall character. This time, Mayall emerged on top by shooting Edmondson's character in the stomach. It's assumed that this shooting was fatal - however, in reality, von Richtofen died after being shot in the chest during an air chase.

Flash's hobbies include fighting, snogging, shagging, punching Baldrick in the face, flying, sailing and, for some reason, wearing dresses. In both the second and fourth series he is last seen in the company of a girl disguised as a boy called "Bob" (played by Gabrielle Glaister).

Mayall also played a very Flashheart-like Robin Hood in the millennium special Blackadder Back & Forth, who also has attributes to Rick of The Young Ones. He is accompanied by Will Scarlett ('a poof in tights'), Friar Tuck ('a fat tub of lard with a ridiculous haircut'), Maid Marian (Kate Moss) ('a hot little honey with thighs like two halves of a nutcracker') and his band of Merry Men. At first he is killed by his own men when they realise Blackadder's truth about the insufficiency of their lives. But later, when Blackadder tries to change time back to normal, he asks him why he is so great, upon which he gives the honest answer 'Because I'm me!'.

Flash's Best Bits

From Blackadder II

• (To Baldrick) "Thanks, Bridesmaid. Like the beard. Gives me something to hang on to."
• "Nursie! I like it firm and fruity! Am I happy to see you or did I just put a canoe in my pocket?"
• "Melchett! Still worshipping God eh? Last I heard, he started worshipping me!"
• "I've got a plan. And it's as hot as my pants!"

From Blackadder Goes Forth

• "Right, dig out your best booze and let's talk about me till the car comes!"
• "Get the bitch with the wheels round here now or I'll fly back to England and give your wife something to hang her towels on!"
• "If word gets back to England that I'm dead, two thousand girls would kill themselves, and I wouldn't want that on my conscience. Not when they ought to be on my face!"
• On the Suffragette Movement:</b> "Hey, hey! Any bird who wants to chain herself to my railings and suffer a jet movement gets my vote."
• "Always treat your kite, like you treat your woman...get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back."

Captain Blackadder is a worthy opponent of Flashheart's wit in series four, responding to his yarns and antics with lines like:

• "I was more impressed with the contents of my handkerchief the last time I blew my nose."
• "Ask them [the rest of the men] whom they'd rather meet - Squadron Commander Flashheart or the man who cleans out the public toilets in Aberdeen, and they go for Wee Jock 'Poo Pong' McPlop every time."
• "Would you excuse me a moment? Some urgent business - there's a bucket outside I've got to be sick into."