Nursie
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Nursie (real name Bernard) was a character, played by Patsy Byrne, in series 2 of the popular BBC sit-com "Blackadder".
Childhood nurse to Elizabeth I, the Queen appears to have had some sort of fondness or loyalty to her now senile nurse. Lord Blackadder described her perfectly as a 'sad, deranged old woman with an udder fixation'.
Nursie has a tendency to embarrass the Queen, telling tales about her childhood. One example is the following.
Queen: Golly! what a difficult choice Nursie: Not the first difficult choice you've had to make, my little tadpole. Queen: No, that's true. Nursie: In the old days, it was all difficult choices. Should you have Nursie milk, or moo-cow milk? 'course, it was always Nursie milk, but then, left breasty dumpling or right breasty dumpling? 'course it was always both breasty dumplings; but then, which one first? Queen: Shut up Nursie.
She was also on hand to listen to the Queens plans and to complement her surrogate child and back them up with utterly useless advice and stories.
Nursie: You're so clever today, you'd better be careful your foot dosn't fall off! Queen: Does that happen when you have lots of brilliant ideas - Your foot falls off? Nursie: Certainly does. My brother, he had this brilliant idea of cutting his toenails with a scythe, and his foot fell off.
Nursie had a three year engagement to Captain Red-Beard Rum (played by Tom Baker) and was heart-broken to hear of his death, despite having only met him for two minutes before he set off on the voyage on which he perished. When Lord Blackadder informed her that he had salvaged his beard she declared 'my lucky stars! I shall wear it always', before proceeding to put it on.
She also claims to have three sisters called Donald, Eric and Basil. Her real name is Bernard. In the final episode of the series, she was murdered along with the rest of the main cast by Prince Ludwig the Indestructible of Germany (Hugh Laurie).