Teen Girl Squad

Missing image Teen_Girl_Squad.png Teen Girl Squad

This article is about a character in the Homestar Runner series.

Principal characters Homestar Runner Strong Bad Strong Mad Strong Sad The Cheat Pom Pom Marzipan Bubs Coach Z King of Town The Poopsmith Homsar Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Eh! Steve Others Fhqwhgads Trogdor the Burninator Teen Girl Squad More...

Teen Girl Squad is a subcartoon series of the Homestar Runner animated cartoon series. It is a crudely drawn comic supposedly illustrated by the fictional Strong Bad.

The feature began after a girl named Brittany emailed Strong Bad and requested that he draw her friends, Virginia, Joy, Kristen and Jennifer. The voices are done by Strong Bad in a strained falsetto. At the end of each episode, Strong Bad, who also covers narration, announces "It's over!"

Contents

1 The characters 1.1 Non-Teen Girl Squad characters 2 The Episodes 2.1 Issue #1 - TEE GEE ESS!! 2.2 Issue #2 - Teen Grrrl Squad!! 2.3 Issue #3 - TGS Numbah 3 2.4 Issue #4 - TGS Tissue 4 2.5 Issue #5 - Spring Type Break 2.6 Issue #6 - Secret Decemberween Gift Exchange!! 2.7 Issue #7 - Diaper School Grads! 2.8 Issue #8 - Soopa Groop 2.9 Issue #9 - Summatime Style! 3 TGS Easter Eggs 4 External links

The characters

The characters are basic high school clichés: four friends who strive to be popular and gain the acceptance of boys.

• Cheerleader is the most popular member of the group. She wears her hair in pigtails and usually dons clothing labeled with phrases such as "Diva" and "Boys Please". We are led to believe that this popularity is just in her head, though, as she has very little luck getting football players to notice her.

• So and So is second on the proverbial totem pole. She is very outgoing, although this does not translate into popularity. In fact, the only guy who has noticed her, "Brett Bretterson", is a boy she made up in first grade. It ended tragically when a van with the sound effect "Children!" ran over her new beau. So and So is the only member of the squad to be referred to by a real name; Cheerleader called her Kristen, one of the names Strong Bad was supposed to use for the characters.

• What's Her Face is the least popular member of the group. The girls aren't subtle in telling her this. They have excluded her from an excursion to the mall, and left her at home while they went to the beach for spring break. Her most notable physical feature is that she dresses in baggy pants and has stringy hair. In issue 9 it is revealed that she at one time dated "Science Fiction Gregg," a male character seemingly as unpopular as herself, until Cheerleader put a stop to it.

• The Ugly One dresses frumpily, with nondescript frills at the end of her dress. She also perms her hair and wears '60s-retro grandma glasses. We are led to believe that she has a problem with hygiene, and that her clothes make her look very unhip. She is ahead of What's Her Face in terms of popularity but not by much.

Non-Teen Girl Squad characters

• The Man With The Huge Mouth shows up in every single episode to do something drastic to at least one member of the Teen Girl Squad. His talents are many; so far he has been an archer, a "Children!" truck driver, a Chinese restaurant worker, a CEREBELLUM-mech operator, a boat captain, and a contest judge.

• Thomas is your stereotypical Grey alien, who arrived at the Teen Girl Squad's area from what is believed to be Portland, Oregon around Pre-K. He hasn't done much in the series, but he can be quite painful with a bat and can pull off impressive halfpipe stunts on a skateboard.

• Tompkins is a student who attends school with the Teen Girl Squad. In pre-kindergarten, he and the girls had an antagonistic relationship. So and So has a crush on him.

The Episodes

As of June 20, 2005, there have been nine episodes of Teen Girl Squad.

Issue #1 - TEE GEE ESS!!

The issues starts with titles. The following words ran next to each character's picture.

• Cheerleader: Cheer!
• So and So: Fashion Sense!
• What's Her Face: Unpopular!
• The Ugly One: Hygiene?

These titles reappeared with different words in future issues.

The issue opens with Cheerleader telling the group that they should get ready to "look so good!" After the others agree, they all set off on their mission. Out of nowhere, So and So gets "voiped" by a robot.

Cheerleader informs So and So that [Kristen] looks burnt, or dead. As they walk off, What's Her Face says in a light tone, "I miss Kristi...na."

The Ugly One announces, "I have a crush on every boy!" Just as she does that, The Man With The Huge Mouth shoots arrows out of his mouth; they all hit The Ugly One. A monster then punts What's Her Face far away.

At the end of the comic, Cheerleader is standing on top of the site where the three girls are buried. She announces, "I look so good!"

Issue #2 - Teen Grrrl Squad!!

The issue opens with Cheerleader asking the girls how they're looking. After the others respond with their typical "So good!" (What's Her Face says "Okay!"), she shows them a fashion magazine with hot tips, and suggests that they get started.

The girls run into a jock, who assumes that they must be girls. What's Her Face believes she might have a chance with him, until Thomas the alien bashes her legs open with a baseball bat. The jock suggests that him and So and So should date, and she agrees. Two vultures swoop in to grasp Cheerleader and The Ugly One.

So and So's date ends abruptly when The Man With The Huge Mouth drives a van into the dumb jock So and So is shocked, and even more so when the vultures drop the two remaining girls back to earth. "Where were you guys?" she asked. The girls responded with, "We got jealous." So and So announces that they should go get yogurt! What's Her Face returns with bloody knees.

Issue #3 - TGS Numbah 3

Cheerleader informs the group that if they want to look so good, then they have to go get some new summer fashions! Everyone sets off for the mall, except What's Her Face, who heads to a thrift store.

Before they go, So and So wants to have some Pan-Asian cuisine. The Ugly One requests three spring rolls, but the waiter is The Man With The Huge Mouth. Spring rolls with fly out of his mouth, striking her down.

Cut to the thrift store. What's Her Face remarks that these clothes smell like grandma's.

Back at the mall, So and So is trying on a dress, and asks the girls if they think the outfit is "so good" or "no good." The girls respond enthusiastically, "So good!" Cheerleader then tries on an elephant mask, telling the girls that she's going for a whole new style. The girls reject it with a resounding "No good!" Cheerleader thinks it's hella tight, and that the other girls need boyfriends. They sadly agree.

What's Her Face remarks that she is walking home from the thrift store as she is doing so. She encounters a horde of possums on her trip.

The girls reunite, and decide it's time to attract some cute boys. As the girls "pose," What's Her Face is bitten (again) by a possum, making the remark, "My blood hurts."

Issue #4 - TGS Tissue 4

Cheerleader is bummed that school is happening again this year. So and So disagrees. She sat next to Brett Bretterson in math and she's in love. Cheerleader informs her that she made up Brett Bretterson in first grade; he's not real.

So and So strikes up a conversation with the invisible Brett, weirding out What's Her Face. So and So leaves with "Brett", ostensibly to go to lunch. On the way, she falls in the "Fighting Growlbacks Bottomless Spirit Pit". As she falls, she yells, "Go Growlbacks!"

Cheerleader distracts everyone by remarking that the quarterback is by his locker, and she is going to see if he has any plans for dating her. The Ugly One laughs, "Tee hee." What's Her Face says, "We're cool." A sack of potatoes and an anvil flatten them, respectively, as sound effects and writing on said anvil and sack of potatoes indicate that "No, [they're] not!"

Cheerleader asks the quarterback, "Hows about you and me?" The dumb quarterback responds with, "Hows about you get some brains?" The Man With The Huge Mouth attacks Cheerleader with a massive mechanized brain.

Back at the spirit pit, So and So yells for some Lunchables, or maybe a juice box. She then coos, "I love you too, Brett."

Issue #5 - Spring Type Break

The episode begins with What's Her Face at her mailbox, finding that she's gotten a postcard. It's from the other girls, who have gone to the beach without her. She remarks that the other side has birds on it. Her mailbox promptly eats the card.

At the beach, Cheerleader suggests that they put their stuff down by "them olda boys." Cut to a pair of college guys, complete with a cooler filled with "college drinks". The Ugly One is too nervous; she sticks her head in the sand. A bird perches onto her midriff and her lungs fill with sand.

Cheerleader asks the boys if their spot on the beach is taken. She says they're in college, while at the same time, So and So says they're in eighth grade! The boys laugh, and an angry Cheerleader punts So and So away.

Cheerleader explains away So and So as her little sister. The spiky-haired college guy says that the two look the same age. An Angry Cheerleader explodes with "I'M FIVE YEARS OLDER AND IN COLLEGE!!!" then has her torso ripped from the rest of her body when The Man With The Huge Mouth runs into her with his boat, the S.S. Inevitable.

The Ugly One hopes nobody cool or famous is staring at her. Henry Rollins, George Washington, and Abraham Lincoln are staring at her. So and So walks in and asks the trio to tandem parasail with her.

At the skate park, What's Her Face asks Thomas to do an indy nosebone. As he does so, So and So and the celebrities glide by on a parasail. Thomas performs one last stunt, the "Late 360' Shove It to Boneless....'D" before Strong Bad announces that "now it's over!"

Issue #6 - Secret Decemberween Gift Exchange!!

Cheerleader wants her 'gallies' to listen up so that they can draw names for the 'secret Decemberween gift exchange'. Cheerleader has put their names into a lion's mouth and says that What's Her Face can choose first. What's Her Face is hesitant, and so Cheerleader says she won't get any.

The Ugly One, desperate for presents, leaps into the lion's mouth. She is "TWO'D" by the judges. So and So is up next, so she decides what to do by using her cool math skills. She dives into the lion with a triple salchow.

Cheerleader announces that the "Last one in is a rotten friend," and leaps into the lion's mouth with a "DOUBLE DOUBLE WHIPLESS MOCCHACHINO HALFCAF," and receives "3 NOSES?" from the judges.

A Hawaiian singer announces in song the 'Wave o' Babies', which slides in from the right of the screen. The next scene moves inside the lion.

The girls think that the lion's innards are looking "So good!". So and So gives Cheerleader a present - a gift card for fashion. The Ugly One gives Cheerleader a half-digested gazelle carcass, and the comic ends.

Issue #7 - Diaper School Grads!

This issue opens with the squad in pre-kindergarten, and is drawn on wide ruled practice paper. So and So and The Ugly One are sitting across from each other, playing pattycake, with the words making fun of Tompkins.

Then they start to count up from 'one inch' back and forth until they pass 'four inch'; The Ugly One states that's as high as she can count. What's Her Face announces that she can count to G! Unfazed, Cheerleader approaches and says that she can count all the way to purple... backwards.

Tompkins arrives, and being the young boy boy he is, gives the girls first choice of who wants to be "hogtied, and pushed down into some snakewater." "Tompkins, how do you be so short?" counters The Ugly One. Tompkins comes back with "Heck, I'm taller than you." The girls yell out to their teacher, "TOMPKINS MADE A SWEAR!!!" and Tompkins runs off crying. Tompkins is attacked by several poorly-defined threats in the form of a monster hand in a granny hat (AGGH!! GRAGHGH!!!) shown before Strong Bad cuts to a dismembered Tompkins. Strong Bad says "Er,and he died somehow..."

Cheerleader decides now's the time to show off her "very own chocolate bar!!" - which happens to be covered in dirt, hair, an ant and a fly. The other girls are disgusted by Cheerleader's dirty chocolate bar, but Cheerleader counters with "Yeah? Well my house has a hundred bafrooms!!" "You mean your parent's house?" says So-and-so. "You mean 2 bafrooms?" says The Ugly One. Going into a tantrum, Cheerleader yells out, "NO! IT'S MINE! IT'S A HUNDRED! SHUT IT OFF!!" A fat guy in a bathing suit then slides down the kiddie slide behind Cheerleader, and squishes her. ("Squished.")

A school bell named 'Bill Bellamy' rings out and the remaining kids squeal "NAPTIME!" A bird-like creature appears in the background. The bird creature takes off carrying What's Her Face, So and So, and The Ugly One. The first two are sound asleep, and The Ugly One thanks Mrs. Commanderson. The bird creature replies with a resounding "EERRAAAK!!," causing What's Her Face to fall.

The music and paper background change back to normal, and the four girls are standing around looking at a book of old photos. All of them remark out loud: "Look at how much we've grown!" The scene pans out to show they're falling through the air. It then pans out again to show they're falling into the open mouth of The Man With The Huge Mouth.

Cue Strong Bad yelling that "IT'S OVER!!!"

Issue #8 - Soopa Groop

The eighth Teen Girl Squad begins with the girls sitting in class. The intercom comes on to announce that there will be a "battle of the bands" on Friday, and that Tompkins needs to go to the principal's office. The girls decide to form a band so that they can get boys. Sticking What's Her Face on bass, they set off to So and So's stepmom's closet to practice.

Now the band "Kissyboots", the girls arrive and find that So and So's stepmom is actually The Man With The Huge Mouth. They begin practicing their song, but during an extended drum solo, The Ugly One is "floor tom'd!", "step-mom'd!" and then... "Pom-Pom'd?"

At the battle of the bands, Kissyboots is up, but So and So is missing. The scene cuts to her dressing room where she's going for a "gloomy keyboardist look", complete with Strong Sad shirt. Some goblins arrive and ask for her autograph, but she is crushed by a giant polyhedral die before she can pick up the pen.

The show must go on, and Cheerleader and What's Her Face play without her. What's Her Face's guitar spontaneously transforms into a shark, which eats her "most of me". Cheerleader finishes out the issue with a musical "it's over!" song. She ends with "everybody died 'cept me", which is quickly shown to be false.

Issue #9 - Summatime Style!

In this episode, Cheerleader decides that this summer will be different--she's befriended an older girl who has her learner's permit! What's Her Face says that she's had her license for a year, and Cheerleader tells her to "stop saying words". The older girl then drives up, and she winds up running Cheerleader over. So and So notices that Cheerleader is dead. The girls scream, "We're free!" (An old man named Mr. Pitters, who had been there the whole time, says "We're ointment!") The Ugly One announces that the tyranny is over.

So and So is happy that she can now overachieve like a bandit, What's Her Face decides to date Science-Fiction Greg again, The Ugly One stops showering, and Mr. Pitters becomes a teen girl. He then gets eaten by vultures.

Strong Bad sings a song about what happens to the "Best Friends Squad", as they are now called. The Ugly One carves BFF in a tree (which stands for Baow Fom Froosh), So and So puts on a play with a living Porta-Potty, What's Her Face eats a heaping bowl of staple sauce, and Strong Bad and the older girl go to Babbages. Strong Bad is disappointed that there are no TurboGrafx games.

We discover that all of the girls (and Mr. Pitters) are dead. Cheerleader tells the other girls to get ready to be "SO DEAD". Mr. Pitters announces that he looks so good.

TGS Easter Eggs

(All of the TGS Easter Eggs so far show up at the "It's Over" screen at the end of the comics.)

Issue #1: Clicking on What's Her Face's grave shows a 'comic-version' of Strong Bad trying to hit on Cheerleader and asking her out on a date.

Issue #2: No known Easter Eggs yet...

Issue #3: No known Easter Eggs yet...

Issue #4: Click on the 'O' to show what happened to What's Her Face and The Ugly One after their last scene. And click on the '!' to show that So-and-so is still down in the Spirit Pit.

Issue #5: Click on the 'O' in Now to show a 'techno-remixed' version of the college guys' beach scene.

Issue #6: Click on the 'O' to see Cheerleader and What's Her Face play Marco Polo together.

Issue #7: Click on the 'O' to see Mrs. Commanderson introduce the new student Thomas, and see how he and What's Her Face became friends. And click on the '!' to see just who exactly Mrs. Commanderson is REALLY working for...

Issue #8: Click on the 'O' to see the mysterious Breadtangle of Pizza, as well as three other tasty geometric snacks. And click on the '!' to see what happened to Tompkins when he was called into the "Prinicpals" Office.

Issue #9: Click on the 'O' to see Science-Fiction Greg brag about how the ladies and valkyries are all over him. And click on the '!' to see the Overachiever Bandit strike again.

Strong Bad e-mail #104 (Theme Park): Strong Bad starts to read the e-mail as Cheerleader, but quickly clears his throat. When he says the word buisness click on it to bring up a 'cut' TGS panel. The scene shows an angry Cheerleader telling off a sad The Ugly One, who says: "The Ugly One, why you always gotta be all up in my bweez-NASS?" (The e-mailer had misspelled "business" as "buisness")

Strong Bad e-mail #118 (Virus): When the entire site goes haywire, the King of Town is transported into TGS issue '#3.14159265 and the rest' (effectivly issue #π, or at least an approximation) where The Ugly One 's mouth becomes huge and disproportioned, and she stops talking through speech bubbles. She states, "I can do it! I can do it nine times!" Then her arm grows and she slaps the King of Town repeatedly, then goes to a 'Loading...' screen, then to the Windows 'It's now safe to shut down your computer' screen. A similar event occurs in a The Cheat cartoon, where Strong Bad kicks Homestar in the face nine times.

External links

• Teen Girl Squad (http://www.homestarrunner.com/tgsmenu.html)
• Homestar Runner (http://www.homestarrunner.com/)

• HRWiki:Teen Girl Squad at the Homestar Runner Wiki