Famous non-quotation

A famous non-quotation is a well-known phrase attributed to someone who, in fact, did not say it.

It may not be known how these phrases came about, but when possible their type of origin is noted in this way:

  • [P] Parody or satire of the original.
  • [C] A corruption or mistranslation of the original phrase, possibly accidental, which became better known than the original.
  • [M] A deliberate misquoting or made-up quote intended to discredit the alleged speaker.
  • [A] Attributed to a well-known person to improve the appearance of the phrase or the person.
Contents

Famous non-quotations by actual persons

  • "A few acres of snow"---Voltaire, referring to Canada [C]
    • Actual quote refers to Acadia, not Canada.
  • "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."---Voltaire [A]
    • This line comes from the book Friends of Voltaire (1907) by Beatrice Hall. It resembles the actual quote "Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too." from Voltaire's Essay on Tolerance.
  • "Let them eat cake!"---Marie Antoinette [M]
    • The original quote came from Jean-Jacques Rousseau: "Finally, I remembered the way out suggested by a great princess when told the peasants had no bread: 'Well, let them eat cake'." He was not speaking of Antoinette.
  • "I cannot tell a lie. It was I who chopped down the cherry tree."---George Washington [A]
  • "Judy, Judy, Judy!"---Cary Grant [P]
  • "Houston, we have a problem." [C]
    • This is a minor misstatement of the actual communication between the Apollo 13 astronauts and Mission Control in Houston immediately after the explosion that aborted the intended mission. The actual quote was "Okay, Houston, we've had a problem here," uttered by Jack Swigert, soon followed by "Houston, we've had a problem" by Jim Lovell.
  • "Football isn't a matter of life or death, it's much more important than that"---Bill Shankly [C]
    • The real quote, which isn't nearly as succinct as the alleged quote, was said by Liverpool FC manager Bill Shankly in 1981 on a Granada Television chat-show called 'Live from Two' hosted by Shelley Rohde was "Someone said 'football is more important than life and death to you' and I said 'Listen, it's more important than that'."
  • "I invented the Internet."---Al Gore [M]
    • Distortion of Gore's claims to have been a significant political promoter of the development of the internet. The attribution was perpetuated and altered by the media echo chamber effect.
  • "Anything that can go wrong, will" (and variations on this theme) – Edward A. Murphy, Jr. [C]
    • Actual quote uncertain. Variously, "If that guy has any way of making a mistake, he will" and "If there's more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then somebody will do it that way."
      • Murphy's law has been misinterpreted to mean "nothing will ever work". Its intended meaning, however, probably was more like "try to prepare for every possible way for something not to work".
  • "The only two certainties in life are death and taxes"---Mark Twain [C]
    • Twain used the quote, but it is now generally believed (though not with absolute certainty) to have originated with Benjamin Disraeli.
  • "Religion is the opiate of the masses."---Karl Marx [C]
    • Actual quote: "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people." Marx's intended meaning is subtler and less condemning than the misquote would suggest.
  • "The only good Indian is a dead Indian."---Philip Sheridan [M]
    • Actual quote is said to be "The only good Indians I ever saw were dead," though Sheridan denied ever saying it.
  • "Money is the root of all evil."---1 Timothy 6:10, the Bible [C]
  • "Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely" - Lord Acton [C]
    • Actual quote: "Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely".
  • "Gild the lily" -- William Shakespeare, King John [C]
    • Actual quote: "To gild refined gold, to paint the lily"
  • "The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic." -- Joseph Stalin [M]
    • This quote has popularly been attributed to Stalin but, at this stage, there is no clear evidence as to whether it is genuine or not.
  • "Et tu, Brute?" -- Julius Caesar
    • Shakespeare in his play makes Caesar say these words ("Even you, Brutus?") in Latin; a similar quote is mentioned by Suetonius, but in Greek ("καί σύ τέκνον?" meaning "Even you, my son?") rather than Latin.
  • "You forgot Poland." -- George W. Bush [C]
    • Actual quote: "Well, actually, he forgot Poland." (about John Kerry)

Famous non-quotations by fictional persons

  • "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well."---Hamlet, by William Shakespeare [C]
    • Actual quote: "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy."
  • "Just the facts, Ma'am."---Jack Webb as Sgt. Friday on Dragnet [C]
  • "This was no boating accident" ---Richard Dreyfuss as Matt Hopper in the movie Jaws [C]
    • Actual quote: "Well, this is not a boat accident!"
  • "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."---John Wayne in Hondo [P]
    • Actual quote: "A man ought'a do what he thinks is best."
  • "Beam me up, Scotty."---William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk in Star Trek [C]
  • "Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a..." Dr. Leonard McCoy on Star Trek [P]
    • In the series, he often said "I'm a doctor not a..." but never with the preceding expletive.
  • "Play it again, Sam."---Humphrey Bogart as Rick Blaine in Casablanca [C]
    • Actual quote: Ingrid Bergman's character Ilsa Lund said "Play it, Sam. Play As Time Goes By" first; later, Rick says "You played it for her, you can play it for me!"
  • "Oooh, you dirty rat!"---James Cagney [C]
    • Actual quote: "Mmm, that dirty, double-crossin' rat," in 1931's Blonde Crazy.
  • "Elementary, my dear Watson."---Sherlock Holmes [C]
    • Holmes used the phrases "elementary" and "dear Watson" on several occasions, but never together.
  • "Luke, I am your father."---Darth Vader in The Empire Strikes Back [C]
    • Actual quote: "No, I am your father."
  • "Badges! We don't need no stinkin' badges!"---from the film The Treasure of the Sierra Madre [C]
    • Actual quote: "Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!" (The quote above does however appear in Blazing Saddles.)
  • "We are not in Kansas anymore, Toto" or "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto"--- Dorothy Gale (Judy Garland) from the film The Wizard of Oz [C]
    • Actual quote: "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore"
  • "Now is the winter of our discontent."---Richard III, by William Shakespeare [C]
    • Actual quote in context: "Now is the winter of our discontent / Made glorious summer by this son of York." The meaning differs significantly when taken out of context.
  • "Do you feel lucky, punk?"---Dirty Harry. [C]
    • Actual quote: "...you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"
  • "Throw another shrimp on the barbie" - Paul Hogan in a series of Australian Tourist Board commercials on American TV. [C]
    • Actual quote: "I'll slip an extra shrimp on the barbie for you."
  • "Hello, Clarice."---Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs [C]
    • Actual quote: "Good evening, Clarice."
  • "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"---Mae West as Lady Lou in the film She Done Him Wrong. [C]
    • Actual quote: "Why don't you come up some time, and see me?", although the misquote is the one preferred by vocal impressionists.
  • "The dingo ate your baby." - Elaine Benes from American TV series Seinfeld. [C]
    • The full quote is actually "Maybe the dingo ate your baby."

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