8-Bit Theater

8-Bit Theater (also spelled 8-Bit Theatre) is a sprite comic created by Brian Clevinger based on the game Final Fantasy by Square. The comic was launched on March 2, 2001. (It has been stated by the author, however, that the comic was started between mid-late January of the year 2001 (http://forums.nuklearpower.com/showpost.php?p=258916&postcount=2).)

Those who have played the original Final Fantasy will note that 8-Bit Theater follows the storyline of Final Fantasy, but the places traveled to and the enemies fought are the only real similarities. For example, Garland, the first boss in Final Fantasy, is pictured as horribly un-evil for a nemesis. This is derived from the fact that Garland is a fairly easy boss in the original game.

Contents

1 Art 2 Characters 2.1 Main characters (the Light Warriors) 2.2 Allies (kind of) 2.3 The Dark Warriors 2.4 Other Enemies 2.5 Side Characters 3 External links

Art

In general, the art in the comic is taken from the game Final Fantasy, particularly the characters and most of the foreground scenery. However, some backgrounds and objects are taken from different sources. The comic author has previously stated that most are obtained from Google.

All editing of the backgrounds and addition of word balloons and text are performed in Adobe Photoshop. The sprites used in the comic are a mix of FF1, FF2j, and FF3j sprites, as well as an additional assortment of sprite edits and artificial sprites created with Corel PhotoPaint 3.0, a Windows 3.0/3.1 art program.

Kevin Sigmund (Known as Sky Warrior KC on the Nuklearpower Forums) did many of the custom sprites for the comic.

Characters

The events in 8-Bit Theater revolve around four central characters—the Light Warriors—and a number of minor ones. These characters are quite obviously exaggerated RPG stereotypes.

Main characters (the Light Warriors)

• Fighter McWarrior – At a young age, the swordsman was expelled from Fighter's Camp '86 for failing to answer correctly the question "How many schools of Zodiac Kenshido are there?" After leaving the camp, he was about to "give up the blade and embrace my true calling in life—short order cook!", before literally running into Black Mage and immediately bonding with him, oblivious to the other's attempts to stab him, first in the back, then in the front. Fighter is a skilled warrior/childlike idiot savant with an almost singleminded sword fixation. Fighter is more intelligent than he appears, but at times is also able to lower the intelligence of those around him with his sheer incompetence. He is the idealizer/creator of the sword-chuck, a weapon consisting of two swords attached to each other by a chain extending between the two—a combination of twin swords and a nunchuck. The joke is that you would likely cripple yourself using it, since you wield nunchucks holding their ends; however, after seeing Black Belt's dropped nunchaku, he realizes that the Zodiac Kenshido school is the sword itself, and successfully uses them to fight the six-armed Fiend of Fire, Kary, to a standstill, leading to her defeat. He has severe arachnophobia, and goes into a gibbering panic when told a spider is near or on him. One of his recent destinies was to find the legendary "Armor of Invincibility". He found out that Matoya had it, and besought her to give it to him. Due to a mishearing, Matoya instead gave Fighter her "Armoire of Invincibility", which he proceeded to carry for a time until the weight became too much and he was crushed by it.

• Black Mage Evilwizardington – Black Mage ran into Fighter after being expelled from wizardry camp for answering the question "How many 5th level spells can an experienced wizard cast?" with "More than enough to destroy you all and your families." Immediately confused by Fighter's declaring them best friends, his attempts to stab him were blunted by the warrior's armor. Black Mage is a chaotic, egotistical, power hungry, murderous wizard who hates everyone in the group/in general(especially Fighter, but keeps him around anyway—both as a meatshield and because he just has trouble killing the armored fellow). At one point in the story, the Earth Fiend Lich killed him by breaking his spine, sending him to Hell; there, he overthrew the rulers of Hell by removing their spines and becoming the king. He then returned to Earth to rejoin the group, annul the contracts Thief had over him, and destroy his body so he could not lose his power. However, Lich, having been dragged into Hell by Black Mage, repaired everyone's spines (including BM's, causing him to return to life) and took control, with the parting message "Death is but a doorway, time is but a window, I'll be back.". Once BM realized what happened, this led to the only instance of the f-word in the comic's archives. Black Mage's most powerful attack, the level 9 "hadoken", is usable once a day and is powered by love; specifically, it drains love from the universe when used; Black Mage claims the divorce rates shoot up with every Hadoken cast. Ironically, Black Mage has a fixation on the character White Mage, and perpetually uses increasingly cheesy and inappropriate pick-up lines to "open her heart."

• Thief, Clan Khee'Bler – A diabolically skilled thief/lawyer who was formerly known as Prince of Elfland, Thief secretly left his kingdom in order to raise money for a cure for his comatose father (as opposed to the game, where Elfland's Prince is the one in the coma). He mainly did this by stealing anything and everything around him and pawning it off. He also maneuvered Fighter into signing a binding contract over the then-forming Light Warriors, making Thief a member and the permanent group leader, and entitling him to first dibs of everything the group discovered, especially treasure (but allowing Fighter the right to decide if he liked any of the swords they found in their travels). Once the plotline of his father was resolved, he continued stealing because he could. Being a prince, he has command of a group of law-ninja which help him enforce the various binding contracts he has over the team. He is also the copyright holder of "Super Ultra Fine Print", an extremely tiny font which he adds to every contract in which he is held responsible for something, to opt out of (mostly by adding the word "not").

• Red Mage – Second name undisclosed, this character understands he is in a stat-based RPG and acts accordingly and fully within the rules of such reality, often to the continued befuddlement/annoyance of the team. The "strategist" of the group, his plans often fail horribly due to the laws of physics and other people. Red Mage's special talent is the rite of Stat Swap—this allows him to erase and rearrange his statistics at a moment's notice on his character sheet, such as giving himself a +10 in Escapeology in order to get out of a trap, or trying to heal someone with the Beastmaster class, due to the extra skill ranks ("Okay, has he had all his shots? Was his mother tested for feline leukemia?")

Allies (kind of)

• White Mage – A priestess and member of Project Fate, she is on a mission to help the Light Warriors succeed, apparently to accomplish her destiny. There is ongoing tension with Black Mage's lustful attraction to her, and her prompt responses (often with her hammer), although it may be revealed that he cannot control himself. She was sent to the beginning of time by Sarda the Sage and inadvertently created the universe. Now, after a discussion from the young Sarda billions of years ago (who tried to be the guy that created the universe), she has willed herself back to her own time. It should be noted that it was her who gave Sarda the idea of growing a moustache.
• Black Belt – An extremely skilled martial artist, he is capable of defying the laws of physics by misunderstanding them, leading to getting lost while walking down a straight corridor by warping the fabric of space and creating a clone with a one-second time differential, which was later eliminated by Black Mage. He was assigned to guard White Mage on her mission, and killed when ordered to attack Kary, the Fiend of Fire. According to Brian, he is permanently dead, much to the dismay/denial of the character's fans.
• King Steve – The King of Corneria, the father of Princess Sara, and a lunatic who rules his country as a capricious despot out of pure madness, though he's more a simpleton than anything else. Among other things, he's devastated his country in an attempt to drill for mana (regardless of the fact that you can't find mana that way), issued laws preventing anyone from criticizing his perfect rule, believed he was running for election against a length of string (ignoring the fact that Corneria was a monarchy), and had babies skinned in order to make leather for his shoes. He was the one who first recruited the Light Warriors, although his original plan was simply to send every applicant into the dangerous wilds to be slaughtered, with the survivors being the "true" Light Warriors. He was tricked by Black Mage into appointing BM's group after being shown the four fabled Orbs of Destiny (actually four recently-removed lightbulbs), and being told that they were "Hot. Hot with destiny!".
• Matoya – Blind witch, who sends the Light Warriors on a side-quest to regain her Seeing Orb after feeding them poisoned cookies (which caused them to have horrible nightmares). Promising them an antidote if they return with it; beforehand, she grants Fighter the Armoire of Invincibility, instead of the Armor of Invincibility due to a misunderstanding.
• Sarda (full name: Sardathusra) – Omnipotent wizard and the Wizard Who Did It, the sole occupant of the Circle Cave (in the game, he's a member of the Circle of Sages) sends the Light Warriors on quests to recover the Four Orbs. In addition, he accidentally sent White Mage to the beginning of the universe, (messing up his plans to get there first), reversed time (a plot device to get the Light Warriors a long distance quickly), and stopped time except for himself and Black Mage, spending 734 years unsuccessfully trying to teach him the concept of "self-sacrifice" after the wizard took it literally, ritually killing the other Light Warriors (who Sarda revived).
• The "Real" Light Warriors – Made up of a Knight, a Red Wizard, a White Wizard and a Ninja (one of whom is named Barry, who is often the one who gets the others in trouble). These four warriors were apparently supposed to be the real Light Warriors of Destiny, as each possesses an actual Light Orb. They got passed over for the job by King Steve however, because their orbs weren't even "lukewarm with destiny," unlike Black Mage's lightbulbs. Since then they've always been one step behind the heroes, having been condemned to die in Elfland, and then rejected as The Bearded Warriors in Dwarfville because their facial hair was too short. Recently, the Light Warriors stole their boat, leaving them stranded on a lifeless ice sheet.

(Note: The "Real" Light Warriors are most likely named after the sample party from the original Final Fantasy Players Guide.)

The Dark Warriors

• Garland – First villain faced by the Light Warriors; is not very self-confident, and overanxious to please and serve his supposed "enemies"; he had to be assisted by Evil Princess Sara, the other side of the princess who he had kidnapped. After his first failed encounter with the Light Warriors, he formed the Dark Warriors and began a propaganda campaign against the Light Warriors. Garland is currently wrestling with trying to control his various phobias concerning forest imps, the weakest creatures in the world. Though therapy has convinced him that forest imps do not exist, the beasts still secretly torment him.
• Bikke – The hopelessly incompetent pirate captain who attacked Pravoka; a very cheap man, having killed his crew by feeding them nothing but Cheetos until they succumbed to scurvy, and then surrendered his poorly maintained ship to the Light Warriors and spent the money he saved gambling. Second to join the Dark Warriors, he desires to be called "the Claw", despite having two functional hands. Even though he is a pirate captain, he cannot swim and sinks like a rock.
• Drizz'l – A Dark Elf, and the son of Astos, he is a sword master equal to Fighter, fighting him to a standstill. He trained and controlled the spiders of the Marsh Swamp (including the deadly camel spider, which sent Fighter into hysterics), and was the third to join the Dark Warriors after being mauled and left for dead by the Light Warriors, and considers himself the most intelligent one. He is also a parody in name of fictional dark elf Drizzt Do'Urden. His swords were stolen by Fighter, and named Slashy and Stabby (they would later be used for Fighter's sword-chucks). He is one of the very few in the series with a completely clear head.
• Vilbert von Vampire – A goth vampire, son of Lich, and final member of the Dark Warriors. He is equal to Red Mage in role-playing intensity, although he prefers live-action roleplaying, as compared to RM's stat-based lifestyle. After being somehow resurrected from having the Armoire of Invincibility ("The mightiest stake in all the land!") driven through his heart/gothicular membrane, he was invited by Garland to join the Dark Warriors.

Other Enemies

• Evil Princess Sara – The other side of Princess Sara; sharp, assertive, and very short-tempered, she is a sword-master and the grudging assistant of Garland until his defeat, after which she returned to Corneria and her father. Evil Princess Sara also used to run an advice column.
• King Astos of the Dark Elves – Father of Drizz'l, tried to steal Elfish throne by poisoning Thief's father and bribing the doctor to hide the truth; died of a heart attack due to a pre-battle taunt by Black Mage ("Astos? Mo' like your ASS is TOAST!")
• Lich von Vampire – Lord of Death, Earth Fiend, holder of the Earth Orb, and Father of Vilbert; killed Black Mage and was later dragged into Hell because of it.
• Kary – six-armed, psychotic half-snake/half-woman, blade master/pyromancer, Fire Fiend and holder of Fire Orb; killed Black Belt and was afterwards stuffed in a Bag of Holding, completely frozen, and then shattered. She is now apparently in hell with Lich.
• Mrr'grrt and Lzh'lhe– Two named, evil Piscodemon, part of a doomsday cult which attempted to replace the natural world with one of an eternal void; the Light Warriors, having been previously trapped in the void, were freed due to a paradox invoked by Red Mage, and quickly slaughtered the entire cult.

Side Characters

• Akbar –Shopkeeper and master of rip-offs. Some of his stores include "Akbar's Amnesia Dust (NOT talcum powder!)","Akbar's Airships (NOT deathtraps!)" and "Akbar's Very Effective Witness Protection Program (NOT utterly useless!)"
• Dr. Swordopolis –He's a sword, and apparently he's got a doctorate of some sort. Shows up occasionally in Fighter's dreams or day-dreams trying to tell Fighter of his destiny. Usually ignored by Fighter in favor of thinking of women in skin tight bikini chainmail. Wears glasses & has a sharp pointy end.
• Onion Kid – In a running gag in the story, Onion Kid runs into the Light Warriors (more specifically, into Black Mage) and has something bad happen to him or his loved ones each time. The first time, he almost dies by catching a glimpse of Black Mage's face. The second time, he is scarred by a death scene in which Black Mage has brutally slaughtered two city guards. The third time, his family is killed to make body doubles so the Light Warriors can avoid a plot on their life by Astos. The fourth time, his foster family was murdered by Black Mage. The fifth (and thus far last) time, Black Mage destroyed with a hadoken a barge filled with food and medicine for dying orphans that happened to be bound for the same orphanage that Onion Boy was at; the loss was blamed on him for no reason and he was kicked out of the orphanage.
• Vargus – Fighter's sword instructor of old, he shows up in some of Fighter's flashbacks; such as when he recited to Fighter the poem Jabberwocky. He is a genius at swordfighting, with an exception being his development of the "Ram" technique of Zodiac Kenshido, wherein you attempt to break your enemy's equipment with your head before your enemy breaks your head with his equipment. Vargus' lessons, however, were continually ignored or misinterpreted by Fighter. So far as known, Vargus' academy is still active.

External links

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• 8-Bit Theater website (http://www.nuklearpower.com/index.php)