Terry Fuckwitt
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Terry Fuckwitt is a character in the British comic Viz.
He is understatedly captioned as "the unintelligent cartoon character". He is a brainless, notionless, mindless imbecile who mistakes gas bills for exam results and his neighbour for his mother. Terry looks the part as well; he is cross-eyed and has wild black hair sticking up ludicriously from his mishapen head. He is also quite foul-mouthed and when he realises that he has just done something stupid he will declare "Fuck me, I've got shit for brains, me." His frequent appraisals of his lack of intelligence are Terry's only correct statements.
He lives in suburban ignorance with his family, none of whom have any great characteristics of their own - every story revolves around the ludicrous situations, scrapes and decisions involving the eponymous protagonist and the way those involved deal with him - usually in comedically violent slapstick. Terry's parents are always annoyed at their son's stupidity and often make unsuccessful attempts to get rid of him, such as by shoving him in a sack and throwing him into a river.
Terry is unable to make a sensible decision. When he was once asked by God to carry out a small favour in return for tonnes of gold and a place in heaven, and at the same time asked by Satan if he wanted to sell his soul for a dried up piece of dog excrement instead, Terry spent a few moments scratching his head before opting for the latter choice. Only after four-hundred-billion years of being tortured by demons in Hell did Terry concluded that he might have been better off making the other choice.
The most stupid thing Terry ever did was to forget to turn up for his own comic strip. He appeared in the last frame asking if he was too late.
A majority of the humour derives from outragous and surreal misunderstandings. For example, at a day at the beach, Terry is told by his dad to go and find a suitable area for sunbathing. In the next frame, we see Terry standing near a small sandy hill and telling his father that he has found one. Terry's dad congratulates him on finding an isolated spot, but then points out the slight flaw in Terry's plan, namely that his proposed sunbathing spot is not on the beach but instead on the planet Pluto.
Due to the dubious surname of the character, the comic never puts it entirely on the front page, even though they habitually advertise each featured character thereon per issue.
Numerous other people who look similar to (though not the same as) Terry often appear in the strip. Whether or not they're related to Terry isn't clear, but they have the same level of intelligence; in 1999 Terry appeared on the quiz show Who Wants to be a Millionaire? and on being asked the question "What kind of shit comes out of a pig's arse?" - to which the possible answers were "George Washington", "The Eiffel Tower", "The Cutty Sark" and "Pigshit" - he decided to ask the audience. Terry lost out when the audience (composed of Terry lookalikes) advised him to choose "The Cutty Sark". In 2005 he led a group of these people to a protest at the BBC over Jerry Springer - The Opera, in which they intended to burn their TV licences. Unfortunately they were several weeks too late, didn't bring their TV licenses and didn't even get to the BBC, instead ending up at a security barrier exhibition.