Futurama (TV series - season 5)
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This is a list of episodes of Futurama episodes in broadcast order, from broadcast season 5.
Template:Futurama (TV series - Seasons)
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Crimes of the Hot
- Production code: 4ACV08
- First aired: 2002-11-10
- Opening subtitle: KNOWN TO CAUSE INSANITY IN LABORATORY RATS
Title probably from Beth Henley's play Crimes of the Heart
Celebrity voice credit
- Al Gore - himself
Summary
Over the last thousand years, the problem of global warming has continued to mount, but the scientists of the future have come up with a solution. Every time the problem becomes too much to handle, a giant block of ice mined from a comet is dropped into the ocean, cooling the planet. Unfortunately, the greenhouse gases have continued to build up, and this year Comet Halley is out of ice.
In order to come up with a solution, a convention on global warming is held in Kyoto, Japan, hosted by the first emperor of the Moon, Al Gore. The first scientist to present a solution is Professor Farnsworth's nemesis, Ogden Wernstrom. Dr. Wernstrom has built a giant orbital mirror to reflect the Sun's rays away from Earth, but the mirror gets knocked out of position and focuses an intense beam that scorches a path across the Earth.
Professor Farnsworth takes the stage and presents a shocking revelation. He is responsible for the current global warming problem. Seventy-five years ago, he designed the prototype robot from which all robot designs descend. This prototype was horribly inefficient and once produced in mass quantities began flooding the atmosphere with greenhouse gases. In order to solve the problem, the scientists resolve to destroy all the robots.
Earth President Richard Nixon throws a mandatory robot party at the Galapagos Islands, while Dr. Wernstrom modifies his mirror to fire a giant electromagnetic pulse. With all the robots concentrated in one isolated location, the pulse will deactivate the robots with a minimum of collateral damage.
Professor Farnsworth, in an effort to save the robots and the environment simultaneously, arrives at the Galapagos and announces a plan. If all the robots vent their exhaust upwards, it will produce a thrust sufficient to push the Earth farther from the Sun, which will cool the planet. The robots do so, and the Earth is pushed into a longer orbit, just in time to avoid Wernstrom's EMP.
Farnsworth is given a medal for his plan, and Nixon declares the week created by the Earth's longer orbit "Robot Party Week".
Quotes
- Al Gore: My fellow Earthicans, as I discuss in my book Earth in the Balance, and the much more popular Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth, we need to defend our planet against pollution, as well as dark wizards.
- Prof. Farnsworth: A billion robot lives are about to be extinguished. Oh, the Jedis are going to feel this one.
Jurassic Bark
- Production code: 4ACV07
- First aired: 2002-11-17
- Opening subtitle: NOT AFFILIATED WITH FUTURAMA BRASS KNUCKLE CO.
Title from the Michael Crichton novel and Steven Spielberg film Jurassic Park.
Summary
When visiting a 20th century museum, Fry discovers that his dog, Seymour (named for a prank request, Seymour Asses) has been fossilized and preserved. While Bender competes for his attention, Fry prepares to resurrect his dog from the leftover DNA.
During the resurrection process, various information is projected onscreen about the dog; it is revealed he died at the age of 15. Fry stops the sequence, claiming that he only lived with the dog for 4 years, so the dog would have long since forgotten him. However, in Futurama's saddest moment, we see via flashback that the dog spent the rest of its life waiting for Fry to return after he disappeared. See Greyfriars Bobby and Hachiko for a potential inspirations for this story.
This is considered to be the series' most touching episode.
Quotes
Opening scene, Bender is practicing a magic routine
- Fry: That's why they call you "Bender the Magnificient"!
- Bender: No, it isn't.
Later, Bender has saved Fry's dog by diving into red-hot molten rock
- Bender: That is why they call me "Bender the Magnificent".
The Route Of All Evil
- Production code: 3ACV12
- First aired: 2002-12-08
- Opening subtitle: Any Resemblance to actual Robots would be really cool
Title from the phrase "money is the root of all evil", derived from the Latin "radix malorum est cupiditas", the creed of the Pardoner in his prologue and tale from The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer. This itself is taken from 1 Timothy 6:10 (King James Version): "The love of money is the root of all evil...etc." - and "radix enim omnium malorum est cupiditas" in the Vulgate of Saint Jerome.
Summary
Having been suspended from school, Dwight and Cubert find themselves stuck with their fathers. Having been overcome with boredom, they decide to start up a company to rival Planet Express, in the form of a paper route. They become so successful that they take over Planet Express, to become 'Awesome Express'.
They end up taking on too many papers to deliver leaving Hermes and the professor to help them solve the problem.
Quotes
- Dwight: "I heard alcohol makes you stupid."
- Fry: "No, I'm ... doesn't..."
- Leela: "Actually, Dwight. You are right. Alcohol is very very bad. For children. But once you turn 21 it becomes very very good. So scram!"
- Hermes: "What do we do if we break somebody's window?"
- Dwight: "Pay for it?"
- Hermes: "O hohoho, heavens no. We apologize. With nice cheap words."
- Cubert: "Hey, Leela, help me put these flame decals I got in my cereal box onto the spaceship. They'll make it go faster!"
- Leela: "And what's your scientific reason for this belief?"
- Cubert: "I'm twelve."
A Taste Of Freedom
Summary
It's freedom day, the day where you do anything and ignore the consequences. Unfortunately Zoidberg takes this 'freedom' too far and decides to eat Earth's flag at the celebration. Earth President Nixon orders his death but Zoidberg escapes and takes refuge at his planet's embassy.
Disgusted by Earth's attitude towards Zoidberg, his planet invades Earth and turns the people into slaves. Their single task is to construct the Mobile Oppression Palace, which will allow the Decapodian nobility to occupy Earth cheaply.
In an attempt at rebellion, the Planet Express crew steals an ancient heat-seeking missile from a museum. They fire it at the Mobile Oppression Palace, but its cold-blooded nature causes the missile to fail to lock on. Once he realises his people have gone too far, Zoidberg saves the day in an ironic manner. He sets an Earth flag on fire and throws it at the Mobile Oppression Palace. The causes the missile to lock on to the palace and destroy it.
At the end of the episode President Nixon allows Zoidberg to take a bite of the flag.
Quotes
- Judge: "Also, in a rare double-whammy decision the court finds polygamy constitutional."
- Old Man Waterfall: "I can't wait to tell my husband!"
- Fry: "Hey, wait! I'm having one of those things. You know, a headache with pictures."
- Leela: "An idea?"
- Fry: "Mm, hmmm, hmmm."
- Old Man Waterfall: Do your worst, you sea devils. I'll make my stand with Old Freebie. You can crush me but you can't crush my spirit!
- The Mobile Oppression Palace crushes him
- Old Man Waterfall: Argh, my spirit!
- Fry: "We need something big enough to take out an entire army. Something you could commit a war crime with."
Kif Gets Knocked Up A Notch
Summary
Having nearly been ejected into space, Kif discovers that he is pregnant. Amy, being a carefree character is shocked by the news and runs away. In the episode 'Raging Bender' at the beginning of a fight we hear the words, 'Ladies, gentlemen and smizmars'. This episode the viewer discovers that a smizmar is someone in Amy's position.
It is later found out that it is not Amy who is the mother, but in fact Leela. The way in which Kif reproduces is by holding hands with someone when he is in love with them. When Kif feels love his hands become semi-permeable membranes and can receive genetic material. Kif's glove had been removed and then he had to grab on to Leela's hand, which is how he became pregnant.
At the end of the episode Amy decides to take responsibility, but finds out she has two decades to still enjoy herself.
Quotes
- Amy: "Spirit! Kif, that's the pony I always wanted but my parents said I had too many ponies already."
- Kif: "Yes, I programmed it in for you. Four million lines of Basic!"
- Kif: "The Holo-shed's on the fritz again! The characters turned real!"
- Brannigan: "Damn! The last time that happened, I got slapped with 3 paternity suits!"
- Kif: "As long as Amy is with me in my heart, I will have the strength of two. *gnarg* Apparently, Amy hasn't been working out much lately..."
Less Than Hero
Title is a spoof of the movie Less Than Zero
Summary
Professor Farnsworth orders a supercollider from πkea. After assembling it, Fry and Leela are left with sore muscles, and Dr. Zoidberg prescribes them a dubious "miracle cream". The supercollider explodes, and the Professor makes them take the remains back to the store. While walking along the streets of New New York, parts in tow, Fry and Leela get mugged. Tragedy is averted when Fry and Leela prove immune to laser fire and physical attacks. Arriving back at the Planet Express building, they discover that one of the listed side effects of the miracle cream is that it causes super powers in humans.
Along with Bender, they form a team of superheroes, the New Justice Team. With Fry as Captain Yesterday, Leela as Clobberella, and Bender as Super King, the New Justice Team begin making a name for themselves. Leela makes a visit to Cityhall, and procures a special one-day surface pass for her mutant parents. Shortly after, the mayor summons the New Justice Team to deal with a criminal threat.
The museum of natural history is going to be robbed at 9am by a criminal mastermind called the Zookeeper, who uses trained animals to aid him in his crimes. Leela, planning her day, schedules her parents' surface visit for 10am at the same museum. Her bright idea is ruined when the Zookeeper is late for the theft. The New Justice Team foils the robbery, but the Zookeeper escapes. Leela's parents, convinced that Leela didn't show up because she's ashamed of them, slink back to the sewers.
Leela makes a trip to her parents' home in the sewers. There, saddened by her parents thinking she is ashamed of them, Leela reveals her superhero identity. Leela swears them to secrecy for their own protection, but Morris tells his friends, and the word spreads. Shortly after, Planet Express receives a call from the Zookeeper, who has kidnapped Leela's parents. He is willing to ransom them for the Quantum Gemerald, the item he tried to obtain in the museum heist.
With no other choices, the New Justice Team resolves to steal the gem. Unfortunately, they have run out of miracle cream, and are forced to commit the robbery without super powers. After a successful escape, they give the Quantum Gemerald to the Zookeeper, who releases Leela's parents. Bender and a morally confused Fry set off to commit a few more crimes while they still have their superhero costumes, and life returns to normal.
Quotes
- From the New Justice Team theme song
- Singers: Citizens, never fear! Crazy do-good freaks are here!
- Mayor Poopenmayer: His crew includes a badger with a troubled past and nothing left to lose, an elephant who never forgets - to kill! And a seldom used crab named Lucky aka Citizen Snips.
Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles
- Production code: 4ACV09
- First aired: 2003-03-30
- Opening subtitle: NOW INTERACTIVE! Joystick controls Fry's left ear
Title is a spoof of the animated show "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" (1984).
Summary
Annoyed with the professor's crankiness, the Planet Express employees take him to an age-reducing spa. A freak accident causes the entire crew to revert to their teens (except Professor Farnsworth, who reverts to his 50s). Leela decides to live with her parents so she can live a normal teenage life.
Meanwhile, the professor searches for a way to undo the youthening effects. Unfortunately, his plan backfires and Professor Farnsworth and the crew (except Leela) continuously grow younger. In order to stop this process, they search out the mythical fountain of aging. When they get caught in the current, Leela jumps in to save them, giving up her chance at being a teenager. The professor is delighted to find that he's become even older than he was before.
Quotes
- Leela: Uh, Professor, this ship does 99% the speed of light. Why are we doing 35 miles per hour?
- Professor Farnsworth: Because we're in a hurry!
- Leela's Dad: Fine, sweetikins, we'll be the strictest parents ever. Now let's have some tequila to celebrate!
- Leela: Dad! I'm underage!
- Leela's Dad: Oh. Here's a silly straw.
The Why Of Fry
Title is possibly a reference to the Tao of Pooh.
Summary
After Bender and Leela go on a mission without Fry, to no ill effect, Fry begins to doubt his importance. His self-esteem is further damaged when he asks Leela for a date, only to find she already has one with someone else. Leela asks Fry to walk Nibbler that night, since she expects her date to go extremely well. While walking Nibbler, Fry ends up sitting in an alley pitying himself. Nibbler speaks to Fry, telling him of his importance, then renders the shocked Fry unconscious.
Nibbler takes Fry back to his homeworld, Planet Eternium. There the Nibblonians inform Fry that he is the most important person in the universe. They begin recounting Fry's encounter with the Brainspawn, giant evil brains that seek to wipe out all thought in the universe (see The Day the Earth Stood Stupid). They further explain that Fry's immunity to the Brainspawn's mental attack is due to his inadvertently becoming his own grandfather (see Roswell that Ends Well).
The Nibblonians and Fry travel deep into space, arriving at the Infosphere. The Nibblonians inform Fry that the Brainspawn have been collecting all the information in the universe in the Infosphere, and when it knows everything, they will destroy the universe to prevent more information from being created. Fry, being immune to their attacks, is to infiltrate the Infosphere and plant a bomb that will suck it into another dimension.
Fry sneaks inside, but his space scooter (Scooty Puff Jr.) falls apart, leaving him with no means of escape. Fry is confronted by the Brainspawn, and in order to save the universe, starts the countdown timer on the bomb. Before the bomb detonates, the Brainspawn inform Fry that Nibbler is responsible for his freezing in 1999. Nibbler confesses to taking the action in a desperate move to save the universe from the Brainspawn. The bomb goes off, sucking Fry, the Infosphere, and the Brainspawn into an alternate universe.
Now trapped outside the universe, the Infosphere tells Fry that it is possible to send him back to December 31, 1999. The Brainspawn agree to help send Fry to the past, where he will stop Nibbler from freezing the Fry of the past. After the necessary calculations are performed, Fry is blasted back through space and time. Our view shifts to 1999, where Nibbler is placing the prank pizza order that results in Fry's arrival at the cryogenics lab.
Nibbler is hiding under a desk, waiting for an opportunity to freeze the Fry of the past, but the Fry of the future warps in under the desk with him. Fry confronts Nibbler, telling him that his problem isn't that they froze him, it's that they did it without asking. Nibbler tells Fry that he must choose between saving his old life, or saving Leela in the future. As the final countdown to 2000 begins, Fry decides, and knocks the old version of himself into the cryogenic tube. Fry begins to fade from existence, but before he does, he tells Nibbler that the scooter he was given was inadequate.
Back in the future, we see Fry set off his bomb for a second time, but now he is equipped with more suitable transportation (Scooty Puff Sr., "The Doom Bringer"), and escapes being removed from the universe. Nibbler returns Fry to Earth, but in order to remain undercover, wipes Fry's memory. Fry, again ignorant of his importance, returns to the Planet Express building, where Leela is recovering after her date turned out to be a jerk. Her bad date has made her see Fry in a new light, and as the episode ends, she gives Fry an ego-boosting kiss.
The Sting
Summary
Professor Farnsworth sends the crew off on the ultimate suicide mission, the same mission that killed his last crew (and the one before them). The Professor is sending them to collect honey produced by ultra-deadly space bees. The crew makes their way to the hive, and lands at the entrance. They load a bee dance language cartridge into Bender to help them infiltrate the honeycomb, and make their way inside. They drag a filling hose from the ship deep inside, and begin filling the ship.
They find an infant queen bee floating in a stream of royal jelly. Leela packs up a jar of royal jelly, and takes the infant queen for breeding purposes. Bender insults the hive's queen, and the bees attack. The crew escapes to the ship and flies off. Leela celebrates their success, but the infant queen uncurls begins to attack them. Fry stands in front of Leela and delivers the cliche line "you'll have to get through me!" The bee obliges, running him through with its stinger. Fry falls to the deck dead.
At his funeral, Fry's body is sent into deep space to a bagpipe rendition of Katrina and the Waves' Walking on Sunshine. Leela returns to her apartment, and eats some of the space honey to help her sleep. She begins to dream, and Fry comes to her and tells her that he left a gift for her in his locker, and that he wants her to wake up. The next day, Leela finds that Fry did leave her a gift, but the rest of the staff is unwilling to accept it as proof that Fry is talking to Leela in her dreams.
That night, Leela returns to her apartment and falls asleep. Fry appears again, and begins showing her the wonders of the universe. While on a sleigh ride on an ice planet, Fry gives her his jacket, and again tells her he wants her to wake up. She wakes up, and finds that Fry's jacket is wrapped around her. In the morning, Leela rushes to the office to show everyone, but Fry's jacket has been replaced by her own.
Leela is now convinced she's losing her mind, and decides to take a nap on the couch in the office lounge. There she knocks the jar of royal jelly onto the couch, and Fry's body is inexplicably reconsituted. After the Professor provides a technobabble explanation involving DNA and mental imprints, everybody celebrates. Leela is convinced that the world is back to normal, but Fry again asks her to wake up, and she finds herself back on the couch.
After a hallucinated musical number set to Bobby McFerrin's Don't Worry, Be Happy, Leela sets off into space to recover Fry's body. She finds the coffin, but the contents have been replaced with a glowing tunnel. She wakes up back in her bedroom, suffering from further hallucinations. She decides to end it all by taking an overdose of space honey, but before she can, her photograph of Fry speaks up and begs her to wake up.
The scene cuts to a hospital bed, where Fry is watching over Leela. Fry explains that when the space bee stung him, it went all the way through and delivered its full load of poison into Leela. The rest of the crew tells Leela that Fry had been trying to wake her from her coma for two weeks. Fry downplays his efforts, but Leela is touched by his caring.
Quotes
- Leela: What's the mission?
- Prof. Farnsworth: Collecting honey, ordinary honey.
- Leela: That doesn't sound so dangerous.
- Prof. Farnsworth: This is no ordinary honey!
- Leela: Is this some sort of brain scanner?
- Prof. Farnsworth: Some sort, yes. In France it's called a guillotine.
- Bender: This is great, my buddy's alive, and his credit cards are valid again. Let's go get hammered!
- Leela: So you're saying...I'm going crazy?
- Prof. Farnsworth: No, no, nobody's saying that, but I'm certainly thinking it loudly!
- Zoidberg (singing): Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style, ladies vomit when I smile, but does Zoidberg worry? Feh! You wish!
- Bender: I'm not allowed to sing. Court order.
- Fry: Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?
The Farnsworth Parabox
Summary
After an experiment goes terribly wrong, Professor Farnsworth is left with a yellow box containing the results. Fearing the unspeakable horrors that could be inside, he orders the crew to dispose of it the next morning by hurling it into the Sun. Leela is assigned to guard the box, but come morning, her curiosity gets the better of her, and she flips a coin to decide if she should look. It comes up heads and she looks inside.
Leela falls into the box, and falls out into a world that's subtly different from her own. Fry has black hair, the Professor has a giant scar on his head, Bender is gold-plated, Zoidberg is blue, Amy is a brunette, and Hermes is blonde. Her confusion turns to shock when a second (red-haired) Leela walks into the room. The alternate Professor realizes what has happened: the box he created contains a parallel universe. Out of fear that the parallel universe is inhabited by evil twins, the alternate Leela is sent through, and she brings the Planet Express crew back at gunpoint.
The two Professors Farnsworth realize what has happened: they have each created a box containing the other's universe. In order to clear up referring to the two universes, they decide to refer to the universe normally seen in the show as "Universe A," and the other as "Universe 1" (this summary will follow the same convention). They discover that the only (key) difference between the two universes is that coin flips have the opposite outcomes. Still unconvinced that the Universe A inhabitants are not evil, Professor 1 hides the box, and both Professors have their staffs watch their parallel counterparts.
The two Benders get along immediately, as do the two Zoidbergs. But Fry A and Leela A are shocked to discover that Fry 1 and Leela 1 are married. The Frys and Leelas go to dinner at Elzar's, where the married couple explain how they got together. Each Leela flipped a coin to decide if she would go out with Fry at some time in the past: Leela A got tails, so she told an obviously fake story to get out of the date; Leela 1, on the other hand, got tails, so she went out with Fry 1. That one date set off a chain of events that resulted in marriage.
Fed up with the treatment they have been receiving from the other employees, the Zoidbergs steal the box containing Universe A. The next morning, the Professors announce that they have determined that neither universe is inherently evil. Hermes 1 arrives, intent on destroying the box containing Universe A as planned. The Farnsworths realize that Hermes A would be doing the same thing, and go to re-enter the Universe A box, but find it missing.
In a desperate attempt to find a way back to Universe A, the Professors fire up the machine that produced the box in the first place, producing numerous other boxes containing parallel universes. After the staff checks the boxes, they find that none of them contain the correct universe. The Zoidbergs arrive with the box, but when the staffs try to grab the box, they panic and jump into one of the parallel universes.
Everyone attaches themselves to safety wires, and pursue the Zoidbergs through numerous alternate realities, each with their own sets of universe-containing boxes. Eventually, the Zoidbergs arrive at Universe 420, the hippie universe, and find that there are no further boxes to escape through. The Professors Farnsworth arrive, and drag them and the box back to Universe 1. Everyone jumps through the box to Universe A, where they arrive just in time to stop Hermes A from throwing the box into the Sun...A.
After a round of good-byes, the Universe 1 inhabitants return to their universe. Fry A asks Leela A out, and seeing the happiness her alternate self had, she agrees. The Professors pull the boxes through each other, leaving each of them in possession of a box containing their own universe. Oblivious to the immeasurable value of the box, the Planet Express A staff returns to their normal lives.
Quotes
- Fry 1: One year later, I gave Leela a diamond scrunchie, and we were married.
- Leela A: Oooh.
- Fry A: One year later, I got beat up at a Neil Diamond concert by a guy named Scrunchie.
- Announcer: Meanwhile, in Universe A, Hermes A heads toward the Sun...A.
- Bender 1 (gold-plated): Bite my glorious, golden ass!
Three Hundred Big Boys
Celebrity voice credit
- Roseanne - herself as the Guide to the World of Facts
Summary
Zapp Brannigan leads a successful attack on Tarantulon VI, claiming a huge prize of silken artworks. Earth President Richard Nixon gives the riches away to the citizens of Earth in the form of a three hundred dollar tax rebate. The Planet Express staff plots what they're going to spend their money on. Leela plans to swim with a whale, while Fry decides to purchase one hundred cups of coffee. Dr. Zoidberg sets off to live like a rich man. Zapp Brannigan calls up Leela, and invites the whole staff to the reception displaying the silk treasures, and she reluctantly agrees.
Later, Kif rents a paddle plane, and he and Amy go for a flight. On the ground, Professor Farnsworth buys and applies a pound of stem cells, which cause a skin deep anti-aging effect. Across the street, Bender spies a ten thousand dollar cigar at a tobacco shop. Unable to afford it, he instead buys a set of burglar's tools. Hermes purchases a set of extensible stilts for his son Dwight. When Dwight rejects the gift, Hermes puts the stilts on and becomes an out-of-control menace.
Professor Farnsworth, now looking 135 years younger, meets a twenty-odd year old woman, and they hit it off. Leela purchases a ticket for her swim with a whale named Mushu, while Fry continues on his quest for coffee at the aquarium's coffee stand. Kif and Amy continue their flight, with Kif presenting her with a watch. They fly over the aquarium, and when Amy waves to Leela and Fry, the watch falls and is swallowed by Mushu. That night, Bender uses his new burglar's tools to steal the Grand Cigar.
Back at the office, Scruffy devises a plan to recover the watch. Leela will feed rotten fish to Mushu when she goes for her scheduled swim, which will cause him to vomit up the watch. The next day, Leela arrives at the aquarium with her swimsuit stuffed with rotten fish, and Mushu eats both the fish and the suit. Later, at the aquarium's whale show, Mushu vomits up the watch. Kif dives in and recovers the watch, but is arrested for stealing aquarium property.
That night everyone attends the silk gala. Kif manages to get himself released when he returns the ambergris that he was covered in when he jumped into Mushu's pool of regurgitation and heads to the party. At the party with his new girlfriend, Professor Farnsworth's stem cells reject his body and crawl off. After Farnsworth confesses his age, his girlfriend pulls a ring out of her navel and her weight rapidly increases by several hundred pounds. Putting aside their physical problems, they confess their love for each other.
In an unexpected twist, Hermes crashes through a window, still on stilts and unable to control his movement. The stilts hit Bender's lit cigar, sending it flying into a silk tapestry. As the flames spread rapidly through the room, an agitated Fry heads for the buffet table and reaches his hundredth cup of coffee. Fry enters a caffiene-induced state of hyperspeed, and rescues everyone from the fire at incredible speed.
Everyone finds themselves in an alley behind the gallery, confused but unharmed. There they find Zoidberg, who having been unable to make himself feel rich, has bought a large meal for a group of hobos.
Quotes
- Bender: Say buddy, why's this "Grand Cigar" so pricey?
- Shopkeeper: Well, as you can see, its wrapper is a piece of the original U.S. Constitution. It was hand-rolled by Queen Elizabeth during her "wild years", and was buried with George Burns, until grave-robbing space mushrooms... well, you know the rest.
- Whale biologist: Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Mushu, the educated whale who thinks he's better than you!
Spanish Fry
- Production code: 4ACV17
- First aired: 2003-07-13
- Opening subtitle: THANKS FOR WATCHING, FUTURAMA SLAVE ARMY! (encoded in "alien language 1")
Summary
During a camping trip, Fry is abducted by aliens who steal his nose. After travelling across the universe, the crew finally discovers it in the hands of Lrr and Ndnd, who intend to use it as an aphrodisiac. Unfortunately for Fry, Bender reveals that the human sex-organ isn't the nose, and Fry is held captive while Lrr harvests his "lower horn".
Quotes
- Lrr: This "jerked" food is quite delicious. I believe I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked.
- Bender: It's used to it! WOOOOOOOOOO!
- Bender: Look! There's Bigfoot!
- Park Ranger: Where? (takes out camera)
- Bender: Ah, he's gone. He said you should keep wasting your life, though.
Bend Her
Summary
The 3004 Earth Olympics roll around, and Hermes is representing Jamaica in the five hundred-meter limbo. Bender decides to sneak into the fembot bending competition, where he is sure to win. Bender enters as Coilette from the Grand Duchy of Robonia, and proceeds to dominate the competition. But before the awards ceremony, Bender must undergo a sex check. Bender, not wanting to give up his medals, asks Professor Farnsworth to give him a sex change.
The operation is a success, and a feminized Bender claims five gold medals. Back at the office, Bender is about to have the Professor undo the procedure, but he gets an invite to appear on a late night talk show. While on the show, the other guest, robot actor Calculon, asks "Coilette" out to dinner. A starstruck Bender agrees.
Bender and Calculon continue dating, and Calculon sends Bender numerous costly gifts. Eventually, Calculon proposes marriage, and Bender agrees. Fry is worried that Bender has lost his masculinity completely, but Bender announces that he intends to immediately divorce Calculon, gaining half his assets.
Bender, suffering from the effects of the sex change, decides that he cannot hurt Calculon, and tries to come up with a way to let him down easily. Leela formulates a plan, and at the wedding it goes into effect. In a melodramatic soap opera twist, Congo Jack (played by Fry) arrives, and hurls a spear at Coilette (Bender) for stealing his diamonds. The spear misses Bender by a wide margin, but he grabs it and feigns death.
Back at the office, the crew watches Coilette: a Calculon Story while Professor Farnsworth reverses the sex change. Having regained his masculinity, Bender returns to his male life, with a few emotional after effects.
Quotes
- Bender (as Coilette): (gasps) Congo Jack!
- Calculon: Another shocking twist!
- Fry (as Congo Jack): Yes, and I have a message from Colonel Mtumbe. He says "This is from Congo Jack."
- Bender is undergoing a sex change back to being a male
- Fry: Well, Bender. I hope this has taught you a lesson about changing your sex to win five gold medals.
- Bender: It truly has. My romance with Calculon has taught me a lot about myself.
- Prof. Farnsworth: Almost done!
- Bender: If only somehow, some way, he and I could drive to Vegas, pick up some floozy-bots and void their warranties all night long! WOOOOOO!
- Fry: Yay, my buddy's home! And his respect for women is back to normal.
Obsoletely Fabulous
The title is a play on the television series Absolutely Fabulous.
Summary
Mom's Friendly Robot Corporation introduces a new model of robot that obsoletes all their previous robots. The new 1-X robots are efficient, obedient, and capable of almost any task. Bender is initially impressed by the 1-X robots, but when Professor Farnsworth buys one, he is less than thrilled. After Bender exhibits an inability to work with Robot 1-X, the Professor tells him that he needs to go in for an upgrade.
Bender steps into the upgrade machine, but as the process begins, Bender is overcome with fear. He breaks free and jumps out a window. Too ashamed to return to Planet Express, Bender fashions a crude boat and sails off on the ocean. After being caught in a storm, he washes up on a tropical island. After a few days, Bender runs out of alcohol, and begins suffering from sobriety-induced hallucinations. Then one night, he is confronted by several shadowy figures.
He awakens the next morning, being refueled with alcohol. The former shadows reveal themselves to be a society of obsolete robots, living a life away from the technology of the world. Bender comes to like his simpler existence, but when he realizes he is a marvel of technology himself, he has the other robots give him a downgrade.
Emerging as a wooden robot, Bender vows to teach the world at large of the obsolete robots' peaceful ways by force. The robots construct a wooden submarine, and row their way to New New York. They arrive and begin destroying appliance stores, the Friendly Robot Factory, and even night lights. Their mission complete, the other robots are ready to return to the island, but Bender is not finished. Swearing revenge on Robot 1-X, he begins an attack on Planet Express.
After knocking a hole in the Planet Express building, Bender announces to his former co-workers that he is going to free them from the leash of technology by destroying Robot 1-X. He has the other robots reload the catapult, but they miss, hitting the ship. The ship's landing gear is damaged, and it collapses, trapping the crew. Fuel begins to leak, and it ignites, threatening to roast the crew alive. Bender tries to save them, but his wooden body is infested with termites, and proves not to be fire resistant. A desperate Bender asks Robot 1-X to save the crew, and Robot 1-X complies.
A grateful Bender begins praising Robot 1-X, and reality fades away to the robot factory, where Bender is still undergoing the upgrade. Bender realizes that his entire experience with the obsolete robots was merely a simulation as part of the upgrade, and walks out of the factory onto the streets of New New York.
Quotes
- Prof. Farnsworth: Oh, I'm blind!
- Leela: Professor, we have no power.
- Prof. Farnsworth: What do you mean, no power? We're living in the future!
- Bender: Bite my splintery wooden ass!
Bender Should Not Be Allowed On TV
- Production code: 4ACV06
- First aired: 2003-08-03
- Opening subtitle: Controlling you through a chip in your butt since 1999
This episode features Billy West and John DiMaggio beatboxing during the opening sequence as various characters, as seen in the season 2 DVD commentary.
Summary
When the soap opera All My Circuits puts out an open call for auditions, Bender tricks Calculon into thinking the test audience likes him. (There is, in fact, no test audience.) Bender gets the part. However, Bender's poor acting has his character quickly written off the show. When Bender ad-libs waking up from his coma, Calculon refuses to do a second take, and the show airs with Bender's changes intact.
Audiences love Bender's antics, which include drinking, smoking, stealing, and being rude. Bender's popularity inspires many kids, including Cubert Farnsworth and Dwight Conrad, to emulate Bender in an attempt to be cool. Professor Farnsworth and Hermes start a group called Fathers Against Rude Television (FART) in protest. Bender is unsympathetic until Cubert and Dwight steal from him. He then leads a FART march to the set of All My Circuits to protest himself being on TV.
Quotes
Bender: Viewers of the world! Do smoking and drinking on TV make me cool? Of course they do! How about committing crimes and violence? Again, the answer is yes. But do we really want our kids exposed to that kind of trash on TV. I say: Absolutely not! (accidentally fires a gun at Professor Farnsworth)
On the other hand, most, perhaps all the blame rests with the parents.
That's right, you! (points a gun at FART protesters, who scream) And so, I ask you this one question. Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
Hermes: But we're just so busy...
Bender: Well, make time.
The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings
The title is a play on the adage, "Idle hands are the Devil's playthings".
Summary
Fry, still trying to win Leela's love, has been practicing the holophonor. But when his recital goes poorly, Bender suggests a quick fix. After a short trip to Robot Hell, the Robot Devil makes a proposal. He will spin a wheel with the names of robots, and will trade the selected robot's hands for Fry's. When the wheel is spun, the Robot Devil is chosen. Unable to go back on his word, he replaces Fry's hands with his own.
With his new mechanical hands, Fry quickly becomes a musical virtuoso. He performs in numerous concerts, and releases compact discs. Fry's fame spreads, and Hedonismbot requests that Fry write an opera. Fry agrees, on the sole condition that the opera be about Leela.
Meanwhile, the Robot Devil, desperate to get his hands back, forms an implausible plot. For step one, he trades Bender a face-mounted air horn for Bender's crotch plate. When Bender wanders off to use it to annoy the first person he sees, he ends up deafening Leela.
Fry finishes the biographical opera about Leela, and the first half of the performance goes well. During the intermission, the Robot Devil offers Leela a deal. He will give her robotic ears so she can hear the rest of the performance. In exchange, she must give up her left hand.
The performance continues, but when Fry reaches the point in the story where Fry makes his deal with the Robot Devil, the real Robot Devil can take it no longer. He leaps onto the stage, and demands that Fry return his hands. Fry refuses, but the Robot Devil has a trump card. If Fry does not return the Robot Devil's hands, the Robot Devil will take Leela's hand in marriage. Unable to sacrifice Leela for his own success, Fry yields. Satisfied, the Robot Devil voids Leela's contract, and departs.
When Fry, sans mechanical hands, tries to finish the opera (partly due to the encouragement of Dr. Zoidberg), he can no longer play. The audience storms out, disgusted with his lack of skill. The only one remaining is Leela, who was touched, both by the fact that Fry wrote the opera about her, but gave up his fame to save her. In a tender conclusion to the entire series, Leela says to the heart-broken Fry, "Please don't stop playing Fry, I want to hear how it ends." The series ends with Fry showing crude holographic versions of himself and Leela sharing a kiss and walking off into a sunset.
Quotes
- Bender: Forget it, you can't tempt me.
- Robot Devil: Really? There's nothing you want?
- Bender: I forgot you could tempt me with things I want.
- Robot Devil: Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!
- Robot Devil: This opera is as lousy as it is brilliant!
External links
- Futurama (http://www.bcdb.com/cartoons/20th_Century_Fox/Television/Futurama/index.html) at the Big Cartoon DataBase