What Would Brian Boitano Do?
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"What Would Brian Boitano Do?" is a song from the film South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut in which figure skater Brian Boitano is treated as a role model for all situations, in parody of the saying "What Would Jesus Do?," which was popular at the time the movie was made. The title phrase, "What would Brian Boitano do?" was introduced in the animated short The Spirit of Christmas, which gave birth to the South Park television series.
In the song, Boitano fights grizzly bears, uses his magical fire breath, travels through time to 3010, fights an evil robot king, saves the human race, and builds the Egyptian pyramids while beating up Kublai Khan. The chorus is a variation on the theme of proactivity:
- What would Brian Boitano do
- if he was here right now?
- He'd make a plan, and he'd follow through
- That's what Brian Boitano'd do!
The real Brian Boitano has figure-skated to the song in public performances.