VALGOL programming language
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- This article is about the fictional programming language VALGOL. For the North Yourkshire-based Black metal band see Valgol (band).
VALGOL is a fictional programming language invented as a joke by John Unger Zussman. It appears in a humorous list of "lesser known languages", published in InfoWorld in 1982 and later posted to Usenet. This is the original text pertaining to VALGOL:
VALGOL ... (With special thanks to Dan and Betsy "Moon Unit"
Pfau) - From its modest beginnings in southern California's San
Fernando Valley, VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of populari-
ty across the industry.
VALGOL commands include REALLY, LIKE, WELL and Y$KNOW. Vari-
ables are assigned with the =LIKE and =TOTALLY operators. Other
operators include the "CALIFORNIA BOOLEANS", FERSURE, and NOWAY.
Repetitions of code are handled in FOR-SURE loops. Here is a sam-
ple VALGOL program:
14 LIKE, Y$KNOW (I MEAN) START
%% IF
PI A =LIKE BITCHEN AND
01 B =LIKE TUBULAR AND
9 C =LIKE GRODY**MAX
4K (FERSURE)**2
18 THEN
4I FOR I=LIKE 1 TO OH MAYBE 100
86 DO WAH + (DITTY**2)
9 BARF(I) =TOTALLY GROSS(OUT)
-17 SURE
1F LIKE BAG THIS PROGRAM
? REALLY
$$ LIKE TOTALLY (Y*KNOW)
VALGOL is characterized by its unfriendly error messages.
For example, when the user makes a syntax error, the interpreter
displays the message, GAG ME WITH A SPOON!
It is obviously a spoof of the ALGOL programming language and San Fernando Valley slang.
The other languages in the list are SIMPLE, SLOBOL, LAIDBACK, SARTRE, FIFTH, C-, LITHP and DOGO.
Like SARTRE, it has probably been taken too far now that a full language and interpreter have been written based on the joke.
External links
- Usenet post (http://groups.google.co.uk/groups?q=SLOBOL+LAIDBACK+SARTRE&start=10&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&scoring=d&selm=5612%40uiucdcs.UUCP&rnum=12)
- VALGOL implementation (http://catseye.mine.nu:8080/projects/valgol/)
- Documentation within site (http://catseye.mine.nu:8080/projects/valgol/doc/valgol.html)