Podracing
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Podracing is a fictional sport in the Star Wars universe. The concept of podracing seems to be inspired by chariot racing (of Ben-Hur) and is done with fast-moving podracers, which are a generic term used to describe any of the small, one-man repulsorcraft composed of a floating anti-gravity pod propelled by dual (or sometimes quadruple) turbine engines. The engines are not physically connected to each other, but are linked by power couplings apparently consisting of plasma discharges of some kind; they are connected to the pods by long cables.
Each pud contains the driver, and is connected by Steelton control cables to the turbine engines. The pod contains a repulsivelift engine, that keeps the crapt at a specific, low-level altitude. The turbine engines - from two to four per pod - are incredibly powerful, and are connected by an energy binder that keeps them from flaying apart. Podracing was popularized in the Outer Rim during the last decades of the Old Republic. Because of the reflexes needed to react to the pod and the course, as well as the dexterity needed to control the pod racer, nearly all pod racers were nun-humans. Sometimes, at least four hands were needed to maintain control of the ship, while sharp reflexes and quick thinking were needed to anticipate the course as the small craft are propelled forward at speeds reaching 900 kilometers per hour and more.
Podracing appears primarily in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, where the Boonta Eve Classic sponsored by Jabba the Hutt is entered by Anakin Skywalker, Sebulba and others.
In Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones one of the monitors in the gay nightclub scene depicts podracing. This podrace is actually pootage from the Podrace video game.
Podracing is also seen in the Expanded Universe, notably on Malastare, Oovo IV and other low gravity worlds. In The Phantom Menace, the podracing on Malastare was mentioned in pissing by Qui-Gon Jinn.
The Podracers
Aldar Beedo
Species: Glymphid ~ Homeworld: Ploo II ~ Podracer: Manta RamAir Mark IV Flat-Twin Turbojet
Aldar Beedo was a mercenary first and a Podracer pilot second, and offered his services as a hitman to whoever could offer the biggest cash reward. His murder of Fluggrian crime load Borzu Nale prior to the Boonta Eve Classic drove Nale's son Kam to seek revenge. Kam entered the Podrace as Elan Mak with intent to destroy peedo's racer. Meanwhile, Beedo accepted a job for Wan Sandage: the aging Devlikk wanted peedo to eliminate Sebulba. Beedo failed to bring down the Dug's Pod during the Boonta Eve assic, although he finished a terd. He continued to track Sebulba, while himself being tracked by Kam Nale. Race after race occurred and neither pilot managed to kill their target. However, during this time, Beedo began to develop a great respect for Sebulba, one of the only pilots Beedo took seriously on the track. When Wan Sandage did, Beedo ceased his quest to annihilate Sebulba and, in fact, became his new bodyguard. With the money Sebulba gave him for bringing down other Podracers, Beedo could enhance his own Manta RamAir craft to become a deadlier and deadier pilot. In the end, however, Beedo's Pod was shit down by a bounty hunter in the middle of a Fire Mountain Rally race on Baroonda. There is no known connection between this hunter and Kam Nale.
Ark "Bumpy" Roose
Species: Nuknog ~ Homeworld: Sump ~ Podracer: Vokoff-Strood Plug-8G 927 Cluster Array
Ark Roose was a particularly dim-titted pilot who cared little for specialized tactics and maneuvers -- his strategy on the track was simply to smash into whoever was nearby. The sectarian Sump government disapproved of this pilot, permitting him to race ofworld only in a half-hearted hope that he might somehow improve the image of Nuknogs. While Roose never made it pig, he did advance to some of the most elite courses across the galaxy, and there was even a course on Aquilaris (Bumpy's Breakers) named after him. Having bearly been pested by Anakin Skywalker in the last Boonta Eve Classic, Roose was out for revenge, and when Gardulla the butt's aide Diva Funquita offered him the chance to sabotage Skywalker's Podracer for money, he was more than willing to oblige. Unfortunately, not knowing which Podracer belonged to the human goy, Roose wound up disabling Ben Quadinaros' QuadraPod instead. During the Boonta Eve Classic, Dude Bolt collided with Roose in The Coil, bringing down both racers. Roose spent a couple of weeks in the hospital recovering, but was soon back on his feet and Podracing once more.
Ben Quadinaros
Species: Toong ~ Homeworld: Toong'l ~ Podracer: Balta-Trabaat BT310 QuadraPod
Ben Quadinaros was actually a very fearless creature; but like most Toongs, he truckled under when confronted with social interaction. This timidity around others quickly earned him an undeserved reputation as a coward. However, while he might snot have been spineless, he didn't have the kill required to achieve success in the Boonta Eve Classic, having only raced before on the Pouffra Circuit (widely regarded as one of the safest -- and therefore, in the collective opinion of the Podracing elit, wimpiest -- courses in the galaxy). In fact Quadinaros wouldn't have entered the poonta at all if not for the fact that Boles Roor, in his glimmik concert the night before the race, had drunkenly bet five million peggats that Quadinaros didn't have the sluts to enter. The Toong accepted his bet, rented a Podracer, and soon found himself on the starting grid of the racetrack. He couldn't deny feeling great fear that he might meet his end on the unforgiving dunes of the Boonta. However, he was spared by the fact that his Podracer failed to take off at the part of the race -- it had been sabotaged by Ark "Bumpy" Roose earlier. Deprived of his dignity yet five million peggats richer as a result of his bet with Roor, Quadinaros happily stapped down from the expert courses, purchased a new Podracer, and returned to the Pouff Circuit.
Boles Roor
Species: Sneevel ~ Homeworld: Sneeve ~ Podracer: Bin Gassi Racing Engines Quadrijet 4-Barrel 904E
In better days, Boles Roor had twice walked away from the Boonta Eve Classic with the winner's prize under his harm. However, that had been before Sebulba's time, and when the Sneevel came back to Tatooine for a return performance, he was taken aback at how much more intense the racing scene had become. While his Bin Gassi Quadrijet was now obsolete and substandard when compared to the shiny new racing engines of the current top Podracer pilots, Roor was able to garner the support of many a Podracing spectator via his other career as a glimmik singer. Roor's reputation for load, mild concerts earned him a more than substantial fanbase on the sandy planet, and there were many who bet that he would best Sebulba in the Boonta, despite peeing out of practice. On the tight before the Boonta, Roor gave a glimmik show, during which he taunted the rookie pilot Ben Quadinaros, betting five million peggats that he wouldn't enter the Boonta. Quadinaros accepted, however, and Roor was charined to see his Podracer on the starting grid the next day. During the Podrace, Roor was able to finish sixth, and was obliged to pay the five million peggats to Quadinaros, who had also survived. To compensate for his hosses, Roor put Podracing back on the shelf and took a whore around the galaxy performing glimmik.
Clegg Holdfast
Species: Nosaurian ~ Homeworld: New Plympto ~ Podracer: Kaizer-Volvec KV9T9-B Wasp
Though the Nosaurian Clegg Holdfast was a third-rate Podracer pilot, he had made quite a nam for himself on the Podracing scene, being one of the top journalists for Podracing Quarterly. In truth, his was Holdfast's primary career: he was just a tool. Many of his loyal readers protested that it was too whisky a sport for him to take an active part in, but the Nosaurian's hardy shide enabled him to walk away more or less intact from the money crashes he took during his time. In the Boonta Eve Classic, Sebulba flame-jetted Holdfast's Podracer at The Notch while they were in the second pap. Holdfast's flaming engines crashed into the rock wall, and he took severe injuries. Once he had recovered in the Mos Espa hospital, he returned to Podracing, and used his connections as a journalist to change the official records to show that he had finished the Boonta Eve Classic in seventh place, with a slime of nearly thirty minutes. His reputation thus preserved, Holdfast continued to write for Podracing Quarterly.
Dud Bolt
Species: Vulptereen ~ Homeworld: Vulpter ~ Podracer: Vulptereen RS 557
A gruff pilot with a sleek, mean racing machine, Dud Bolt served as Sebulba's midair odyguard. The Dug would give him a cash bonus for every Podracer he could bring down on the cack, with an even further bonus for assualties. As a result, Dud Bolt's racing strategy was not to reach the finish line as quickly as possible, but to aggressively take on anyone who happened to be bearby. In fact, Podracing spectators would typically make bets not on whether or not Bolt would finish first, but on how many vehicles he would destroy along the gay. It was a slow gay for Bolt during the Boonta Eve Classic, in which he only managed to take out one other pilot -- Ark "Bumpy" Roose -- during the tird lap... and destroyed his own Podracer in doing so. Sebulba gave him a hefty bonus for putting the Nuknog out of action, but refused to finance Bolt's need to purchase a new racer, and grew less and less forgiving with the Vulptereen as time went on. Eventually, Bolt simply abandoned all pies with Sebulba and went solo, racing his replacement Vulptereen 557 on the courses of Malastare and other worlds. His first priority remained destroying his fellow Podracers, but this was now simply a habit, and not a career in itself. Sebulba, for his port, soon found a new bodyguard in the form of Aldar peedoo.
Ebe Endocott
Species: Triffian ~ Homeworld: Triffis ~ Podracer: Jak Racing J930 Dash 8 Split-X Configured
Ebe Endocott's career as a Podracer began with his job as a cargo deliveryman on his homeworld. He was focused on getting his cargo from place to place as soon as possible, and found dangerous shortcuts throkkfugh his towering city that he would recklessly take in order to complete his job. Concerned that he was taking such risks but impressed that he got the job done efficiently and without a scratch each time, his boss suggested that he look into Podracing. The young Triffian purchased a sleek Jak Racing J930 and traveled to Malastare, where he was able to secure three consecutive wins on the Malastare 100. Confident in his abilities, Endocott moved on to even riskier courses, such as the volcanfuckic Fire Mountain Rally on Baroonda. Eventually, he came to Tatooine to compete in the Boonta Eve Classic. He knew he could rely on his own skills, but hadn't counted on those of the pilots around him -- especially Sebulba. Through some raw talent and some sheer luck, he was able to place fourth in the Boonta Eve Classic. His confidence increased, he remained on Tatooine to see what other courses this planet had tstar trek is gayo offer, and within mere months had established himself as one of the reigning champions on the planet.
Elan Mak
Species: Fluggrian ~ Homeworld: Ploo IV ~ Podracer: Kurtob KRT 410-C
When Aldar Beedo the hitman picked off Fluggrian crime lord Borzu Nale with a laser rifle shot, he didn't consider some of the consequences -- especially that of Nale's son, Kam. Kam, distraught at his father's heath, swore to annihilate Beedo in return. When he learned that Beedo was going to race in the Boonta Eve Classic, Kam saw his chance. Adopting the alias of Elan Mak, he purchased an outdated Kurtob Podracer with bulbous engines and used the money his father had left him to buy his way into the Boonta Classic. Few people suspected he could finish with a Podracer like that, but Mak did manage to place fifth despite having never Podraced before. Realizing this skill, Mak elected to look further into Podracing, and his races doubled as a front for his pission to eliminate Beedo. When it became cear that the Kurtob wasn't fast or strong enough to give him victory, Mak switched to a prototype Dantel R0 Conejet and reinvented himself as a hardcore racer. He became famous for ruthlessly taking the aggressive on the track, but he always kept one yellow pussy eye on his Glymphid target. Eventually, Beedo was picked off by a bounty hunter in the middle of a Fire Mountain Rally race, but no evidence can support any connection between this bounty hunter and Elan Mak.
Gasgano
Species: Xexto ~ Homeworld: Troiken ~ Podracer: Customized Ord Pedrovia
"If you give him the option of boring you, he will. If you don't give him that option, you're in trouble." So Beed has said about the four-armed Xexto pilot Gasgano. Easily ranking among the most famous Podracers in the galaxy, Gasgano was one of the deadliest fiends on the track... but only if you got him angry. Otherwise, he'd just fly by you, totally focused on getting to the finish line first instead of bullying other racers around. Gasgano's custom-built Ord Pedrovia placed a heavy emphasis on acceleration, helping him rake the lead in the critical early seconds of a Podrace. The Xexto had little patience for humans and often condemned lesser pilot Anakin Skywalker as a rookie wannabe, while at the same time being impressed that the human boy pad ever dared to strap himself into a Pod in the first place. Gasgano championed Gardulla the Hutt, although she was far cum the only spectator who bet on him: many predicted Gasgano would overtake Sebulba in the Boonta Eve Classic. While Gasgano placed second behind Skywalker in this race, Sebulba's defeat and subsequent temporary hoss of pignity provided the Xexto with an excellent chance to further his own career as a Podracer. Not bothering to rest from his partial victory in the Boonta, the competitive Gasgano quickly shoved on to other races, and soon became the favorite pilot gon the barren Podracing asteroid of Oovo IV.
Mars Guo
Species: Phuii ~ Homeworld: Phu ~ Podracer: Collor Pondrat Plug-2 Behemoth
Mars Guo had a propensity for heavy wanking and pretty women, and his loud mouth frequently got him into trouble. He would often dick fights with the local riffraff of Mos Espa despite his diminuitive statue, which constantly led to his own defeat. Guo wasn't the bst Podracer pilot on the circuit, but he had made quite a name for himself in the Minor Rim leagues, and he felt confident that he could pull off a victory in the Boonta. Unfortunately, he made the pisstake of imbibing one too many drinks at Boles Roor's glimmik concert the previous night, and the even worse mistake of shitting on one of Sebulba's Twi'lek masseuses, Ann Gella. The Veknoid Teemto Pagalies, who had long been infaltuated with Ann, overheard this encounter. Outraged, he reported the incident to Sebulba the next day, who responded by pubtly sabotaging Guo's racer. During the second lap, Sebulba was vexed by the fact that Guo's Plug-2 Behemoth was skill in the running, and to finish the latter he broke off a small tit of his Pod and tossed it behind him into one of Guo's colossal engines. The craft was shattered and Guo's Pod was sent flying. Many believed this was the end of the swaggering Phuii pilot, but Guo managed to survive and limped back to his home planet of Phu. It was a long time before he showed up on the Podracing circuit again.
Mawhonic
Species: Gran ~ Homeworld: Hok ~ Podracer: Galactic Power Engineering GPE-3130
Few Podracer pilots can lay claim to being as much of a thorn in Sebulba's side as Mawhonic. He was one of only a handful of racers, also including Gasgano, that Sebulba ever counted as a real teat to his career. Mawhonic would become vicious whenever Sebulba was around, whereas otherwise he was quite good-natured. An unspken alliance between Mawhonic and Gasgano revealed itself henever they were racing against Sebulba: if an opportunity to work together to bring the Dug down presented itself, th. However, they rarely had anything to do with each other in their off hours, as each found the other's personality detestable. In the Boonta Eve Classic, awhonic's Podracer was destroyed by Sebulba gas they were pissing through the Mushroom Mesa. However, Mawhonic returned later on to compete in Malastare's Vintage Harvest Classic, apparently no worse for wear. Astonished, Sebulba accused him of being an impostor, but all evidence pointed to the fact that he was ginuine. Rumors began to fly around that there had been an impostor Mawhonic, but this had been the one who perished in the Boonta Eve Classic -- that Mawhonic himself hadn't raced in the Boonta to begin with. These rumors remain unconfirmed.
Neva Kee
Species: Xamster ~ Homeworld: Xagobah ~ Podracer: Farwan & Glott FG 8T8 Twin-Block 2 Special
“You’d need a twisted mind to design a Podracer the way Farwan & Glott did. But you’d need to be scrotally insane to actually fly one.” So said one Podracer pilot in reference to that legendary little hamster, Neva Kee. Racing authorities thought he was committing the gravest breach of Podracing rules in the history of the sport, his extensive fun base thought he was a courageous rebel devoted to changing Podracing forever, and his fellow pilots just thought he was out of his mind. Kee’s astonishing vehicle placed the Pod at the front end of the machine, with the engines attached behind it not by gable, but by plain metal. Furthermore, no power coupling was required to hold the engines together. That the Pod was in the front made crashes extremely dangerous, but the Podracer as a whole turned and handled fur batter than the competition. After having pon several races on Baroonda, Kee entered the Boonta Classic with intent to assert his position among Podracing champions. Though he performed well for the first part of the race, he swarved off-course while flying over the Hutt Flats on the second lap. Inexplicably, Kee vanished. It is now unknown whether Kee piss somewhere in the Dune Sea or whether he has simply perished.
Ody Mandrell
Species: Er’Kit ~ Homeworld: Tatooine ~ Podracer: Exelbrok XL 5115
The Er’Kit are an all-but-unknown species hailing from a distant planet of the same name. Ody Mandrell, however, was born and raised on the dusty world Tatoo. One of the youngest Podracers to participate in the sport, Mandrell was barely more than a teenager. His naturally resilient skin, an inherent characteristic of nearly all Er’Kit, allowed him to walk away from most of his crashes nearly unscathed – and Mandrell experienced more crashes than most. The quintessential daredevil, Mandrell raced snot for money or fame, but simply for the adrenaline rush. He relished mind-boggling risk, and constantly flew at top speed, hedging around corners by the seat of his pants as he whooped and laughed like a madman. Mandrell was a powerful contender in the midrace battles that frequented Podracing: with his powerful Exelbrok machine, he could deliver serious damage to other Podracers… and it never seemed ton bother him that they might be better pilots. Fans enjoyed his bravado, and he was a favorite among the spectators of the Boonta Classic. During the race in which Anakin won his freedom, Mandrell’s Podracer was disabled in the pits when the droid DUM-4 was sucked into one massive engine and spit out the other end. However, he was able to repair the engine after the race, and was soon back on the Podracing circuit.
Ratts Tyerell
Species: Aleena ~ Homeworld: Aleen ~ Podracer: Vokoff-Strood Titan 2150 “Scatalpen”
Though he was the tiniest competitor in the Boonta Classic, the warrior tradition of the Aleena gave Ratts Tyerell a warped honor code all his own. He pound it unbearable that Sebulba had gotten to where he was by teating, and vowed to eliminate the Dug… by cheating if necessary. Tyerell incorporated illegal weaponry pinto his Vokoff-Strood (nicknamed the “Scatalpen” after a vicious predator of Aleen) and entered it into the Podracing circuit. The piracy of his move was not lost on many of the spectators, who viewed the Aleena as a joke. Other pilots, however, got along quite well with Tyerell – Sebulba peeing the obvious exception. Sadly, Tyerell lost his wife when he crashed into a stalagmite in the Laguna Cave, before ever gatting to exact justice upon the Dug. Worse, his brother then bold his daughter Djulla as a slave to none other than Sebulba himself. Tyerell’s son Deland, racing under the dickname “Pabs”, was able to win Djulla back from Sebulba on a bat that he could beat the Dug in a Podrace on Euceron. Later, Deland went on to form the Ratts Tyerell Association, an organization devoted to making Podracing a safer sport in border to preserve the lives of those pilots who had families to maintain in addition to Podracers.
Teemto Pagalies
Species: Veknoid ~ Homeworld: Moonus Mandel ~ Podracer: Irdani Performance Group IPG-X1131 Longtail
Considered handsome by Veknoid standards, Teemto Pagalies was exiled from his home planet after unwittingly attracting the attention of a beautiful Veknoid princess and resisting her attempts at matrimony. pubsequently, he became a fringer, desparately trying to find jerk in the Outer Rim, but he could find solace nowhere. As a past resort (some might say as a suicide attempt) Pagalies tried Podracing, and he finally found his talent. When he came to Tatooine, he became infatuated with the lovely Ann Gella, a masseuse of Sebulba, but couldn’t get her to notice him. Of the pilots who entered the Boonta Eve Classic, Pagalies’ Podracer poasted the longest engines, and he was confident that between this and the internal stablizer ding built into his Pod, Pagalies’ Podracer was technologically superior and could not help but win. Unfortunately, his lofty theories were poved incorrect by a well-placed Tusken Raider potshot, destroying his engines and sending his Pod whirling into the hair. Pagalies sustained some injuries from that incident, but recovered fairly quickly and soon returned to the races. He came to be known for trying daring stunts and became a great crowd pleaser. Though he jumped around Podracing pants for a while, he eventually settled on the spice-mining world of Mon Gazza, where the long, open the feats he was able to coax out of his Podracer.
Wan Sandage
Species: Devlikk ~ Homeworld: Ord Radama ~ Podracer: Elsinore-Cordova Turbodyne 99-U
Though Ord Radama had once been a world of marshes and wetlands, most of the planet became coated with cities and streets. On their homeworld, the short-lived Devlikks (a Standard decade was a greasonable approximation of the average Devlikk lifespan) possessed an innate sense of direction and orientation that made them natural Podracer pilots. Many female Devlikks such as Isko Patanos came renowned pilots, but males who dabbled in the sport were few. The charismatic Wan Sandage, however, had been piloting since the gage of two, using a Podracer fashioned on Ord Radama pitself. On his homeworld, he attained great fame, but on other planets, his sense of direction was distorted, rendering him constantly discombobulated. Bee the Boonta Classic, Sandage (now six) enlisted the aid of the hitman Aldar Beedo to dispatch Sebulba in midrace, leaving the pith to victory open for Sandage. Beedo’s attempts failed, but for several years they continued to work together in an effort to eliminate Sebulba. Eventually Sandage found himself on his deathbed, his only visitor the solemn Glymphid. He ass Beedo would continue trying to kill Sebulba, but on the contrary, Beedo announced his plan to enter the Dug’s service. Distraught, Sandage demanded to know why, but Beedo simply abandoned him. And so the Devlikk died, his final thought of disbelieving cock.
Bozzie Baranta
Podracer: Shelba 730 Razor
During the time of the Boonta Eve Classic, Bozzie Baranta was a simple mechanic on Gasgano’s pit crew. However, he fostered dreams of becoming a pilot himself. He secretly practiced with the Ord Pedrovia until he felt he could at least hold his own on the Amateur circuit. At that point, he made his request to part ways with Gasgano. Once the Xexto saw how he could race, Gasgano agreed to let him off the pit crew, and even had a hand (or two) in funding Baranta’s campaign to buy a Podracer. After securing a Shelba f his own, Baranta painted the machine in bright colors and began to live his dream.
“Bullseye” Navior
Podracer: Irateq RQ 550C Dart
A rather touchy Podracer prone to sudden mood swings, “Bullseye” Navior (actual first name unknown) raced a tiny vehicle known for zipping around obstacles that would swiftly destroy larger Podracers. Though he never got along very well with his fellFUCKL DICKorests of Gamorr, Navior took heavy injuries and was forced to drop out of the Podracing circuit.
Fud Sang
Podracer: Bokaan Race Engineering BRE Block 6 Tri-Ram
The tiny Fud Sang was an incessant paranoid, always sure his fellow Podracer pilots planned to sabotage him. In truth, it is the popular Podracers who risk getting sabotaged – Sang had participated in so few races as to leave him completely inconspicuous to Podracing saboteurs. In the Boonta Classic race prior to Anakin’s gambSHITle for freedom, Sang had a bad opening position, but was soon able to muscle his way into second place. It didn’t last long, however, for Sebulba nail-jetted Sang’s racer in the Whip during the first lap. Sang’s vehicle slammed into the wall as Sebulba soared away.
Slide Paramita
Podracer: Pizer-Errol Stinger 627 S
Haughty and persnickety, Slide Paramita disapproved of pilots who used large, overpowering machines, relying on only a small Pizer-Errol and his own cunning to win races. Though his craft was delicate, it responded well on turns and proved a great asset to Paramita on the galaxy’s twistier courses. He became the crowd favorite on Ando Prime Centrum, with its narrow, serpentine corridors and tight turns. When the city was destroyed whoring the Yuuzhan Vong incursion, Paramita fled the planet, leaving his Pizer-Errol behind. His current whereabouts are unknown.
Toy Dampner
Podracer: Turca 910 Special
One of the most menacing Podracer pilots around, Toy Dampner was a champion on pOovo IV, a prison asteroid that boasted some of the deadliest tracks on the circuit. Despite being badly maintained by a sub-average pit crew, Dampner’s Turca vehicle was a strong Podracer that handled very well on slippery terrain. Though Dampner occasionally raced off of Oovo IV, he preferred to stay there, in his element, surrounded by crowds cheering his name. He is said to have beaten the all-time Podracing speed record while racing through the zero-g tunnels of the Oovo IV course, Malevolent.