Faux pas
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- For the web comic, see Faux Pas (web comic).
A faux pas (IPA /ˌfoʊˈpɑː/) is a violation of accepted, although unwritten, social rules. Faux pas vary widely from culture to culture and what is considered good manners in one culture can be considered a faux pas in another. For example, in English-speaking Western countries it is usually considered good manners to bring a bottle of wine when coming to someone's house for dinner. In France, however, this is considered insulting as it suggests the hosts are unable to provide their own good wine. However, bringing flowers to the hostess is never a faux pas, although you sometimes need to be careful which kind of flowers you bring.
Pronunciation
Note that faux pas is both the singular and plural, pronounced identically in both cases. A common mistake is to add a /z/ sound when referring to the plural.
Origin of term
The term comes from French and literally means "false step". However, it is a formal rather than everyday expression in French and does not generally have the figurative meaning used in English. is occasionally employed to describe a physical loss of balance or general mistakes (for instance: mes faux pas dans la vie, the mistakes I made in my life). If you use faux pas with the English meaning in France, people may think you are making a slight grammatical mistake with faut pas, the colloquial pronunciation of il ne faut pas, meaning must not in English. For faux pas with the English meaning, the French would usually say gaffe or erreur.
Examples in various cultures
- A right-handed handshake.
- Displaying the soles of your feet or touching somebody with your shoes.
- Eating with your left hand. Throughout most of the Middle East the left hand is reserved for bodily hygiene. Thus, the right hand should be used for eating.
- Giving someone a timepiece as a gift. Traditional superstitions regard this as counting the seconds to the recipient's death.
- Shaking hands while wearing gloves.
- Giving chrysanthemums to a host or hostess; in France, chrysanthemums are given to mourners after a death, and to give them at any other time is in bad taste.
- Bringing a bottle of wine with you when coming for a dinner in somebody's home suggests that the hosts are unable to provide their own good wine.
- Entering a house without being invited to do it; in the house, leaving your coat without being invited to do it (you can ask: "May I ...?").
- Asking for cheese after taking dessert.
- In private dinner, not finishing your meal: this implies the food is so poor you can't finish it, or your host doesn't balance correctly the quantity of food you need.
- Not having a business card to give out when meeting people for the first time, especially in business.
- When greeting or thanking another person, not bowing lower than the other person when the other person is older than you or have a higher social status.
- Not using polite language and honorifics when speaking with someone having a higher social status.
- On the train or subway, sitting on a seat designated for the elderly or handicapped when you are not such a person.
- On the escalators at the train/subway stations, not making room for people who want to walk up or down the escalator. You should stand on the side and not right in the middle of the escalator or on the side where people need to move faster.
- Not sending a New Year's postcard to someone who sent you one.
- Sending a New Year's postcard to someone who suffered a death in the family during the past year.
- Taking out the burnable trash too early before (like the night before) the morning pickup time. This allows cats and crows to attack the garbage and make a mess.
The Nordic countries
- Not taking your shoes off when you enter somebody's home.
- Not finishing your food. This implies that the food is so terrible that you couldn't eat it. Explanation and apologies should be provided in case of uneaten food.
- Being late. The Nordic countries are unusually punctual, with meetings, events, and public transport usually happening on time.
- Not keeping a promise you have given to another person. Goes as well in business and private relations.
- Placing a phonecall to somebody after 10 p.m.
- Mistaking the sauna (bastu in Swedish) for a place for having sex. It's for cleanliness and relaxation.
Romania; Russia; Slovakia; Hungary
- Giving somebody an even number of flowers. This should only be done in funerals.
- Whistling indoors. This is considered to bring bad luck.
- Giving money (for the petrol) to someone who gives you a ride home.
- Only students pay their own bill when going out for a drink. People in friendly terms routinely pay a round each (no accountants needed).
- People don't take their shoes off in public places, unlike other countries where it is more acceptable.
- Touching somebody in the head (in Buddhism the head is the most pure region of the body).
- Stepping over or standing on bills or coins (they all have the face of the King, who is highly revered).
- Not keeping your place in line.
- Not apologising if you and a stranger bump into each other, even if it was not your fault.
- Not finishing your food. This is considered an insult to the quality of the host's food.
- Signifying "two" of something by holding up two fingers with the back of the hand pointed towards the listener can be mistaken for an offensive gesture (similar to the finger). Holding up two fingers with the hand held the other way (palm of the hand towards the listener) is perfectly acceptable.
- Forgetting the words "please" and "thank you".
- Significantly overestimating someone's age (underestimation, even to an implausible degree, is generally regarded as a sign of politeness or even a compliment).
- In Alaska and much of the Pacific Northwest, not taking your shoes off when you enter somebody's home.
- Not looking someone directly in the eye when speaking can be seen as evasive; this is in contrast to much of the rest of the world, where looking someone directly in the eye may be rude. Contrariwise, making direct contact in certain public places, such as the New York Subway is not only seen as rude but considered an act of overt aggression by some.
- Not offering to pay your share of a meal when eating out, at least twice, even if you were invited or told it was their treat before hand. This is especially important when eating out with the family of a significant other in the early stages of the relationship and in business situations.