Father Dougal McGuire
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Father Dougal McGuire is a character in the comedy series Father Ted, played by the actor Ardal O'Hanlon. Renowned for sleeping in his Irish national football team shirt and He-Man sheets, Father Dougal is one of life's innocents. He quite cheerfully admits that "the lights are on but no one's home".
It is unclear how or why Dougal became a priest, and how or why he is allowed to remain one. Just as unclear is his presence on Craggy Island, though it has been alluded to that he was sent there by Bishop Brennan as a result of some act of stupidity which led to a mysterious incident that put the lives of hundreds of nuns in danger. He is "addicted" to rollerblading and often dreams about Carol Vorderman presenting Countdown naked. He dosn't really believe in organised religion, and never seems quite sure what the clergy are meant to do (he famously mistakes bishops for some sort of sci-fi loving insect exterminators). He often wears a dated red sleeveless jumper over priestly black.
He has obvious trouble distinguishing between real life and dreams, and almost never has enough wits about him for the task at hand. For example, Dougal and Ted visit a tourist attraction and see a map poster with the legend "You Are Here". Dougal exclaims "Wow! How did they know that?"
In another scene Ted compares some toy cows with the real cows in a nearby field: "Now, let's try it again, Dougal: these are small, but those are far away. Small...far away. Small...far away." Dougal shakes his head in amiable incomprehension.
- Ted: "Dougal, I have some good news."
- Dougal: "You're getting married!?"
- Ted: (pause) "You were joking there, weren't you?"
- Dougal: "Er, yes."
(Remember that Catholic priests are required to practice celibacy.)
Upon the death of John Paul II in 2005, Irish bookmakers included him in the running for the next pope (albeit as a joke with odds of 1,000 to 1). This is actually better odds than many real-life cardinals and archbishops, surprising the Vatican. Some small bets were actually received from punters, which is testimony to the popularity of the character and the humour of the Irish and other gamblers.