Co-dependency
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Co-dependency is a psychological condition in which someone exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for other people's struggles.
Co-dependents may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with this person's struggle. A classic example would be a wife making excuses for a husband's drinking problem.
Co-dependency can also be a set of maladaptive, compulsive behaviors learned by family members in order to survive in a family which is experiencing great emotional pain and stress.
As adults, codependent people have a greater tendency to get involved in relationships with people who are perhaps unreliable, emotionally unavailable, or needy. And the codependent person tries to provide and control everything within the relationship without addressing their own needs or desires, they set themselves up for continued unfulfillment.
Symptoms of codependency are: controlling behavior, distrust, perfectionism, avoidance of feelings, intimacy problems, caretaking behavior, hypervigilance or physical illness related to stress. Codependency is often accompanied by depression, as the codependent person succombs to feelings of extreme frustration or sadness over his or her inability to make changes in the other person's (or persons') life.
Individuals who are suffering from codependency may seek assistance through various verbal therapies, sometimes accompanied by chemical therapy for accompanying depression. In addition, there exist support groups for codependency, among which the best-known is probably (Codependents Anonymous (http://www.coda.org/)) (CoDA), which is based on the 12-Step model created by Alcoholics Anonymous.
Many books have been written on the subject of codependency, including the work of Melody Beattie, who has become one of the standard-bearers for the codependency self-help industry, and author of Codependent No More among many other volumes. It should, however, be noted that not all mental health professionals are of the same mind about codependency or its standard methods of treatment. Katz & Liu, in "The Codependency Conspiracy: How to Break the Recovery Habit and Take Charge of Your Life" state that codependency is over-diagnosed, and that many people who could be helped with shorter-term treatments instead become dependent on long-term self-help programs.