C.M.O.T. Dibbler
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Cut Me Own Throat (C.M.O.T) Dibbler is one of the numerous bit part characters that enrich the world of Terry Pratchett's Discworld. A "merchant venturer" in Ankh-Morpork, he is most famous for selling meat by-products to unsuspecting souls. He has also been a "moving pictures" (movie) director where his lack of scruples was entirely reminiscent of the pioneers of modern motion pictures and, similarly, the agent of a "Music with Rocks In" group. He has also been known to sell "fong shooey" advice, mail-order martial arts lessons, "Dibbler's Genuine Soggy Mountain Dew", souvenir snow-globes and advertising space in the Ankh-Morpork Times. He is at his best selling intangibles; physical merchandise tends to hamper his patter somewhat.
His eye for the main chance coupled with astonishing business acumen and appalling bad luck is comparable to Derek Trotter from Only Fools And Horses. When his business plans fail, he falls back to selling (mostly) "pig" sausages on the streets of Ankh-Morpork.
He is described in the books as resembling a rodent, and wears a long "poacher's" coat covered in pockets. He is usually seen either pushing a barrow or carrying a tray. This contains sausages-in-buns, meat pies, and probably some merchandise connected with whatever the latest Morporkian fad is.
The wizard Rincewind had a theory that equivalents of Dibbler were everywhere. This theory is borne out by Rincewind's meeting the slightly more successful merchant Disembowel-Meself-Honourably Dibhala (who sold suspiciously fresh thousand-year eggs) in the Agatean Empire (Interesting Times) and Fair Go Dibbler (who sold the archetypal pie floaters) on the lost continent of EcksEcksEcksEcks (The Last Continent).
Other Dibbler equivilents include Cut-Me-Own-Hand-Off Dhblah in Omnia (Small Gods), Ratonasticthenes from Ephebe(TSOD) and Al-Jiblah in Klatch (Jingo). It was previously thought they might all be related, but the Discworld Companion explains that this is parallel evolution. "Wherever people are prepared to eat terrible food," it says, "there will be someone there to sell it to them."